Fun Food

I was at the local grocery market the other day and as usual, on the alert for offbeat and interesting things that tickle my funny-bone. This is a habit of mine in an attempt to turn mundane chores into something fun. Most of the time I am unsuccessful in the transformation but I find enough gems to keep me playing the game.  I was not disappointed on this trip.

American supermarkets are boring. They are homogeneous. One looks like the other with the same products, presentation and no surprises. Ethnic foods are relegated to a half an aisle next to the kitty litter. Here in the Abu Dhabi, everyone is from somewhere else and the market managers have to cater to the tastes of folks from Asia, Europe, the Subcontinent and of course the Middle East. This makes for an entertaining stroll through down the aisles. You never know what you are going to see. The inventory seems to change each week. One time you may see English cookies and the next, ghee from India occupying the same spot the cookies previously did. It;s a grab bag and you cannot rely on your favorite stuff always being consistently available. Part of the charm, I guess.

I am fortunate that my nearest market has a pork room. This is a small room off the main floor with its own doors displaying large signs warning that entrance is for non-Muslims only. I look at it as a generous gesture by the UAE government to allow us expats to slake our cravings for pig.and I appreciate it as a lover of bacon and grilled hotdogs. Turkey bacon substitutes suck!

So, the other day I walk into the pork room, got my bacon and Oscar Meyer links and continue to the freezer on the opposite side of the room to see what various porcine delights were available there, then I saw this:

Bingo! I just found my Gem o' the Day. Out came the mobile phone for this image, much to the bemused stares of the Filipino pork butchers nearby. 

Now the maker of these delicacies, cdo/Sea Quest, looks like a Western Company and they really should know a little bit more about marketing. I'll bet my last beer that the frozen items inside the bag are not actual cephalopod testicles but are probably the tenderest of squid meat formed into a round shape. They probably taste very good and would be something I would enjoy, but when the name "Squid Balls" is emblazoned over a clear plastic window showing some round objects inside, I get an unnerving impression. Call them "Calamari Rounders"or"Spheres Du Mar"; anything but Squid Balls!

I can imagine this Marketing Executive in the product launch meeting surrounded by his peers and the CEO of Sea Quest suddenly standing up and saying, "I know, let's call 'em Squid Balls!!!". They should have thrown him down an elevator shaft. But instead, they went with it. The plastic bag makers probably pissed themselves with laughter when they got the details of the order.

What Squid Balls were doing in the Pork Room is also lost on me.

As if this isn't bad enough, fellow bloggers Neil and Caz found these items in a downtown market: The Real Thing  A Pakistani friend of mine says these are a real delicacy back there. Bet you can't eat just one! They eat them in the US too, also known as  Rocky Mountain Oysters. All I can do is wince.

I did buy a bag of these though:

These are fried peas coated with hot Japanese wasabi mustard powder. They are very good and I was surprised to find them available here, but I don't understand the "& YOU" part. The peas never delivered on the personal relationship promised by this phrase. Come to think of it they kind of look like little green.................uh never mind!!!!

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