Lessons Learned

The following is my response to an email I received from an American woman whose husband had recently accepted a job in Abu Dhabi. She was naturally anxious about the move and wrote me asking some questions about my experiences here. She said would have to leave her own job, rent their house for less than the mortgage, leave friends and family behind and was apprehensive about her role of being a Western woman in an Arabic society.

After I wrote it, I thought it would be a good idea to post it on this blog for all to see. Although I touched on some of her particular issues, the advice is generic enough for anyone who is contemplating a move to this part of the world. My advice is from my own experiences of being in Abu Dhabi for a little over a year now. So here goes:

Dear "Concerned in Colorado",

I understand what you are going through. My last few months as a US resident were also filled with anxiety, fear of the unknown and second guessing tempered with the excitement of starting a new life in a new country. There was so much to do to prepare for the move, the more I did, the more I saw that needed to be done. I was zombie-like in the last few weeks before my departure.

When getting settled here, I realized that I underestimated the effort needed to keep the ball rolling back home regarding bills, taxes, cars, property and friends/family. Problems with any of these are magnified when one is on the other side of the world.

I also have a house I am renting to someone back in the States and the rent doesn't cover the mortgage I have to pay. Plus if you get a bad renter you could find yourself with months of no rental income. That will take a big chunk out of your Abu Dhabi salary. That and other things that happen "back home" are much harder to deal with and settle from here. Get a trusted friend in the US and open a joint bank account with them to help you deal with issues that arise(an they will!) back home. Get a rental management company to deal with your house, that should help. The stuff that has occurred to my interests back in the US has been as stressful as some of the things here.

I have found out the idea is to keep thing simple here and back home as well. Try to reduce your US financial obligations before you come. Consolidate your debt so you will only have one or two bills to pay from the UAE. Sell all you can before you move. Put the rest in storage on an "auto pay" deal. The almost unattainable ideal situation is to move here with no assets, debts, propery or vehicles back in the US.

As far a simplicity goes in the Emirates, do not succumb to temptation and purchase a new car with a five year note here as soon as you arrive. Most people do this (I did and regret it). It is easy as the banks are very accommodating. You can get a brand new Mercedes or Land Rover here with as little as two months on the job and a signature. You will get the payments too, of course!

While the car may seem like a nice symbol of your new lifestyle here in the UAE, it will become a millstone around your neck if one of both of you decide the Sandbox is not for you after a year or two. If you quit your job, the employer has to cancel your resident visa, you have 30 days to vacate the country, your bank is notified and the account is frozen. You then have that 30 days to sell the car (probably at a huge loss even if you CAN sell it in 4 weeks) and repay the bank. If you can't sell the car or settle with the bank and try to leave you can be detained and arrested at the airport. It is illegal to leave the UAE if you owe money. There are no bankruptcy laws here. The only other option is to sneak out and leave your employer and bank holding the bag. That won't make for peace of mind or expected good recommendations from your ex-UAE employer for future jobs. There are a lot of dust covered cars in airport parking lots left by people who saw no other way out.

My best recommendation is to lease car(s)on a monthly basis. You stay financially agile that way, the most you would owe is one month's rent. These leases are quite cheap here and usually include insurance. In other words, don't bet your freedom on a long term financial commitment with such an unsure thing as moving to and working in a foreign country. The rules are different here. You can always buy your dream car later after you both feel happy and comfortable.

Another thing to keep in mind is accommodation. Rents are still insane in Abu Dhabi (they are easing in Dubai). Most landlords want an entire year's rent in advance. Some want only 6 months but it still is a lot of money.

In this case, you would have to get a personal loan from a bank or an advance from your employer to secure a pad. Unfortunately that puts you right back into the long term financial obligation category that is to be avoided.

If you paid for a year in advance and decided to leave before then you lose the balance or,if you had a loan for the rent from a bank or your employer, you will have to sneak out of the country or get detained at the airport again if you quit properly. see the pattern here?

I am lucky to have a very nice apartment given to me gratis by my employer. That is what you guys should strive for, employer supplied housing, it is much simpler that way, you owe nobody.

As far as most employers go, the usual probation period is six months, you must be with the same company for a year before you can change (and even then you need permission to do so) and if you don't stay with the same employer for at least 3 years there are financial penalties such as owing back the "Settlement Allowance" they fronted you to move here. However, if you stay 3+ years there seems to be some substantial financial benefits to doing so. Have Hubby check his contract carefully. Two years sounds too short You will need 3 years anyway to save any amount of money to make the move worthwhile.

As far as the emotional ups-and-downs go, there have been plenty for me. But I am a guy and probably cannot sufficiently convey those to a woman's satisfaction. There are the usual experiences of lonliness, isolation, homesickness and irritation at the different ways of life over here. For me, these were most intense between the 3rd and 9th months after getting here. The first few months are full of excitement and after about a year here you become more acclimated.

As a background, I was divorced about 5 months before I was offered my job over here. Newly free, I considered it a good idea and still do. Personally, I don't think my ex-wife would have flourished over here and I would not have considered it in my wedded state but that is me. Additionally, the position I was hired for what is considered the pinnacle of my profession and I would get experience that was not to be had in the US.

I too left a good job back in the States. I was at that job for 10 years and made many good friends that I still love and miss dearly. Not to see them everyday pains me. However, I felt I was getting stale there and I considered this an adventure that not many people get to do in their lifetimes and when I get down, I reconsider that thought and I get a better attitude.

Your big difference that you have that I don't have is being in a married situation. That can be a great asset or a problem in my opinion. I am sure you are tired of hearing "It's all what you make of it", but part of that is true. It seems that some don't, but you may "find your paradise" here. It's up to you and how adventurous and open you are. If your marriage is strong now, it will continue to be strong. If not,then problems will be exposed. This is not a place to "fix" a relationship.

The expat community is great over here and you will find a lot of help and kindred spirits. The cultural differences between males and females over here is not as great as you may have seen on the American TV network news. You do not have to wear a Burkka and you can wear bikinis at the wonderful beaches. You can get a job if you want. I work with many expat and local women. The travel opportunities are great and it has been life enrichening for me to live and work among many different nationalities. The US is somewhat isolated and it has been a breath of fresh air to get out for awhile.

I realize you guys have already made your decision to move and I remember how crazy I was the last few months before my departure, it was overwhelming! I was almost catatonic most days. It gets better.

Remember: keep it simple (especially finances), have a sense of humor, have a Plan B, try and stay adventurous and optimistic!

Good Luck and keep in touch!

An Explanation

Bad timing, inappropriate subject and being reluctant to step on the toes of the citizens of my host country. That's why I removed my post. I should have known better than to blog about religious topics especially now. I do appreciate a healthy debate but after careful consideration, I thought that this was neither the time or the place to air my opinions on the subject. Nothing good could have possible become of it.

I realize I am a guest in the UAE and will respect the rules of living here, as I would expect those who chose to move to my home country to do the same. I have no problem with abiding by the sensibiliites of my host country just as I would think that Muslim immigrants in the USA should not assume the majority Christian population there would unconditionally accept Muslim rules and practices.

That was the point behind my taxi driver story. In the USA, I should be able to get a ride to my hotel from an airport, alcohol or not. Taxi companies are regulated by the local governments and there are laws to assure equal access to all. If a Muslim taxi driver sees a problem with that, then he/she is in the wrong business because a lot of travelers have alcohol on or in them. The refusal of Muslim taxi drivers to transport alcohol became a big issue in the US media and the misunderstood Fatwa from the local Mullah was finally rescinded. Ironically.in the UAE, I have never had a problem. I expect to be sensitive to religious ideals here in the UAE, but back in the US I shouldn't need the same diligence.

I am willing to be flexible here but Muslims living in my home country need to be the same. That's only fair.

Again, I apologize if I offended anyone, that was not my intention. Live and Let Live!

Dubai Demolition Derby

This is video taken from a police camera in a tunnel near Dubai airport. Note the selfishness, aggressiveness and the total lack of spatial awareness displayed by some of the drivers. These are somewhat extreme examples, but lesser degrees of these behaviors are observed on almost every trip to the supermarket, restaurant, parking lot or petrol station. If you are lucky it is at much lower velocities!

The scary thing is that these probably are not drunk drivers, In a country where there there is ZERO tolerance for driving under the influence (you will be jailed, lose your job, bank account frozen and deported). I find it hard to believe there are that many chemically impaired drivers on the road. They are just naturally dense and/or clueless.

The U. A. E. is a melting pot of many kinds of driving from a multitude of countries and they don't mix well. I am not going into the distinctive driving habits of certain ethnicities here, but take it from me, one can guess quite accurately after a short time from a long distance who is behind the wheel!

The link below is to a long, dry and somewhat dated discussion on the matter, but there are a lot of statistics and graphs:

http://www.salimandsalimah.org/documents/RTAsinUAEcompared.pdf

UPDATE: Opinions differ on cause of UAE dust - The National Newspaper

Opinions differ on cause of UAE dust - The National Newspaper

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The Dog Days of Summer

It is now August in Abu Dhabi which means running from one air conditioned space to another as efficiently as possible. Outdoor diversions are not practical or healthy so most residents spend the Summer behind closed doors. Expat spouses and children usually high-tail it back to their countries of origin to wait out the brutal Gulf climate in more temperate areas while the kids are out of school. Even the shortest automobile trip will turn you into a "wetback" as the car's A/C struggles to transform 120 degree air into a more comfortable temperature. It's usually a losing battle.

Another trait of Summer here is the haze. I shot the photo above at noon local time today from my balcony at the Moonbase 20 miles West of Abu Dhabi City. You can see that the visibility is severely hampered by the crud in the air. Most of my life I lived in the Southeastern U. S. and expected Summers to be a little hazy due to inversions and hydrocarbon emissions from pine trees and such, but the haze here is over the top!

The origin of the haze is a mystery to me. It is not fog. The wind is not strong enough today to kick up a dust storm. It is not pollution or smog, there is no smell. Not enough natural vegetation exists here for their emissions to be a factor. I am stumped! I can only guess that this is dust blown from far away and it is settling here. But then I remember that I also lived in a desert environment in Southwestern Utah which should have been similarly affected by dust from neighboring regions too but the Summer skies there are clear and blue. In other seasons, the Abu Dhabi skies are normal. Maybe Iran is testing some nerve gas, I don't know!

Anyway, because of the Summer climate here people are afflicted with a malaise that is usually associated with the Arctic regions, Cabin Fever. This is where the outside environment is at the least uncomfortable and at the most life-threatening so people tend to stay inside for extended periods of time which eventually drives them crazy from boredom.

How individuals deal with this depends on their situation and character. I am lucky as I don't have a spouse, children or a roommate so I deal with it by surfing the net, emails, Facebook, blogging, cooking, Playstation 3 and accelerated rates of alcohol consumption. I can't get in much trouble doing these. A side effect is that I am saving a boatload of money and the quiet afternoon naps are great. When the weather moderates, I will be back to my old restless self again looking for trouble and excitement. Also, I have a lot of leave left so I have some long weekends planned in more Northern latitudes in the next couple of months.

It must be much tougher for those that are living in close proximity to a roommate, spouse and offspring. Little things quickly become big things and soon divorce and/or manslaughter seem to be reasonable and thoughtful ways to relieve the boredom. As I have said before, if you plan to relocate here with a family make damn sure you all know what you are getting in to and that your bonds are strong. This is no place to come to with the idea that a "change of scenery" will revitalize a relationship.

Tomorrow (August 3) will mark my first anniversity here with boots on the ground in the Emirates. I have learned many things and gone through a lot of ups and downs in the past 12 months. Although it hasn't been all good or all bad, I feel this experience has enriched my life and that I would have ended up regretting it if I had not accepted the challenge. More about this soon in a future blog...stay tuned, don't touch that dial!

Photos For Wingnuts

I am a Wingnut myself. If I am having a conversation with you and I hear an aircraft passing overhead, forgive me if I look up into the sky in mid-sentence in order to look at the plane. It's not personal, I am not being rude but you must understand that I have an illness that causes involuntary upwards head movements whenever I hear a turbine whine or an unmuffled, aircooled horizontally opposed or radial engine overhead. Cessna, Boeing, Piper, Lockheed, Grumman or McDonnell-Douglas, it doesn't matter. I am gonna look.

I have been this way since I can remember. I can spend hours just looking at airplane photos on airliners.net. A perfect day for me is lying on the hood of my car at the approach end of the runway of an international airport watching the endless parade of airliners passing over my sunburned tonsils. Fellow sufferers of this malady will understand, the rest won't and never will.

To me, aircraft and the act of flying them is a combination of skill, beauty, art and technology. Nothing else comes close.

I wanted to share the attached photos that a good friend sent me (thanks Rog). They are of the F-35 Lightning II, the USAF's next generation air superiority fighter. Variants of the F-35 are being developed to serve with the Navy and Marine Corps including a VTOL version to replace the excellent, but aging Harrier.

The F-35 is chased by an F-16 Falcon. The photos are taken over the beaches of the Florida Panhandle which just happens to be where I was born and raised. The aircraft are based out of Eglin Air Force Base which is visible in the background in a couple of the photos.

To me, all aircraft are easy on the eye due to the "form follows function" rule, especially the high performance ones. Any machine designed to cheat gravity and go faster than a bullet at the same time has to have a pleasing, organic shape that gets along with, rather than fight natural forces.

The F-35 may be the last advanced U.S. fighter designed to have a human at the controls. The recent advances in remote control via satellite and the success that the UAV's have been having as armed platforms at the front lines may make manned fighters an anachronism. The end of an era for the "Knights of the Sky".