Abu Dhabi Dispatches

Shearing the Sheep

2011-11-27T20:27:00.006+04:00

For the last 3+ years I have lived in a relatively insulated area of the world and I have had the unique opportunity to see Western culture and specifically the USA from the outside. Most in America have never heard of Abu Dhabi and assume it is some place in Africa due to the exotic sounding name, they know of Dubai, though. The 2 cities are but 50 miles apart. The UAE is a benevolent monarchy which in the most part takes care of its residents and citizens. Things are not perfect here but this area seemed to largely escape the degree of economic carnage that befell the rest of the world.

As you know I have recently decided to return to my homeland and I fear I will not be so happy about some things happening there. I consider the bank bailouts on the taxpayers' dime a travesty which will haunt middle class Americans for generations to come. Uncounted trillions of dollars literally evaporated overnight and it will take decades to recover.

It has affected me personally as I own real estate and have investments that have losses in the tens of thousands of dollars in value. The economic crisis was a huge "pump and dump" by the international bankers. I am pissed off as I did not get a government bailout because I am not "too big to fail" so I have to just take it in the shorts, I guess.

The international banks (Goldman Sachs, et al) made out like bandits with the cooperation of the US government and the Federal Reserve which is just another private bank. They all caused the problem which is reverberating worldwide, yet the whole situation remains opaque and the same players remain in power within the US government and Wall Street. They should be in prison as it seems the whole scheme was orchestrated years ago with the lobbying away of financial rules and safeguards that allowed certain toxic financial instruments to be created for the sole purpose of wealth transfer.

When this house of cards collapsed, the players were inexplicably rewarded with an unprecedented bounty of public funds from the federal government instead of well deserved sanctions. Common sense would dictate letting these private banking organizations rot on the vine from their irresponsible actions, instead they were given a "mulligan" at taxpayers' expense. This suggests a much too cozy of a relationship between the robber-barons of Wall Street and the US government that has the responsibility of regulating them.

Greece, Italy, Spain, Portugal, and even France are facing financial meltdowns and the bankers are at the ready to step in and "help" these beleaguered economies by buying assets for pennies on the dollar. It seems to be all about the money. Trace the new leaders of Greece and Italy and you will find they have backgrounds with the same international banking organizations. As always, follow the money

I am not a tin foil hat wearing guy but I can put 2+2 together. You do not have to agree with me but the puzzle pieces are self-evident. Everyone should be a critical thinker and question authority.

Below are some thought provoking videos I found. The first 2 are from the prophetic movie Network (1976) and one from critical thinker, social analyst and part-time comedian, George Carlin.

Now maybe the lord/serf relationship was the natural order of things at one time, world history has many examples of this, but I am uncomfortable with the status quo and would think humanity would have matured and grown away from this unequal and unfair arrangement. I am an individual with unalienable rights and freedoms but recent events undermine my confidence and respect for my elected officials who I trusted to protect my best interests.

To me it seems my (and others') governing bodies dropped the ball and have allowed outside influences to steer public policy. The "get out of jail free" card was given to the international economic manipulators and many of these scoundrels hold high positions in the US government to this day. The Golden Rule is in effect, those that have the gold, rules.

What to do? There is no easy answer. The types of people that have a burning desire for elective government offices also have traits that tend toward weakness and selling-out their constituencies at the whiff of a greenback. Us regular folks are expected to look the other way and take the inevitable hit to the pocketbook or personal rights and freedoms.

We have an uphill battle to equalize things against the elite power brokers but there are some bright spots. The internet is the big player here as it offers the exchange of information at the grass roots level and bypasses the mainstream media who is also influenced by money and power and do not want to upset the handlers. The internet offers an alternative to the communal Kool-Aide.

Another victory was the exposure of "climate change" for the scam that it was. Most of the proponents were not actual scientists (Al Gore for one) but were knee-deep in the politics and finance of trying to scare the bejesus out of us regular people. As always, the endgame was more money and power for the elite. That was called Cap and Trade and Carbon Credits. Mr. Gore is actually a principle of the Chicago Climate Exchange
which is a clearinghouse and speculator of carbon credits when he is not trying to rape hotel maids. I have a funny feeling his involvement in the CCE is not entirely altruistic and he stood a lot to gain by promoting his junk science.Thankfully, the Chicken Little "sky is falling" climate change horse is in its last twitches.

Bottom line is that we have the ultimate advantage in numbers but we all should think critically, put the pieces of the puzzle together, connect the dots, hold our elected officials accountable, ask questions when things don't pass the "sniff test" and as always......follow the damn money!

I Am Outta Here

2011-11-22T10:18:00.000+04:00

I finally did it. I pulled the trigger and resigned my post last week. I will be leaving Abu Dhabi at the end of the year. I did not take the decision lightly. I have had a good run here and many adventures and good stories resulted. At this point I do not know where I will end up so it seems I am taking yet another jump into the abyss.As they say, "a rolling stone gathers no moss".

I had to leave here sometime anyway, I am just a guest here so I thought now is a good time as any. I am not getting any younger and it seems US employers have a problem with considering citizens living overseas for job opportunities. I realize I have to be back on home soil to further my career.

I will continue this blog no matter what because I like doing it. The name may change depending on where I end up. I have some things to reveal that I can't as long as I live here so stay tuned.

As always I appreciate my followers, I do it all for you. I consider it a privilege and honor that you spend some time out your day to read my scribblings. I promise to continue to be creative and entertaining for you. More stories to come!

Damn Banks II

2011-10-31T23:27:00.002+04:00

I received a comment on my last post from Anonymous who seems to be an insider at one time. It was very informative and brought up some good points that I had to answer. The comment was long and my responses were at least just as long so I decided to make a new post. Maybe we all can learn something and clear up some misunderstandings, if any.

Anonymous is in yellow text, mine in white.

Anonymous said...

LOL! SOME of what you said is true, some are "spiced" if you will.

BTW, that building that you said came from somewhere... It isnt OWNED by NBAD. That building is owned by a member of a royal family. 3 floors are rented by NBAD.

You maybe have me there! I looked for a stock photo of a big building with the NBAD logo on it for the first photo. Its kind of a blogging thing. Here is the real HQ, the NBAD tower.

NBAD Tower

There is no link with immigration, or with the traffic dept. If you want I will tell you the exact process (I had sadly asked that many ppl be bared from flying myself)

When a person properly quits their job, they have to surrender their passport to their employer/sponsor and will only get it back (on the day of travel) after all paperwork, including clearance letters from the banks et al, are submitted. If an expat cannot provide these, they do not get their passport back until all debts are paid. They can't leave as they have they have no passport, job or home at this point. I have heard jail is a desperate option.

What this does is creates the runner/absconder phenominon. Things go bad here with some folks for various reasons and they are deep enough in debt they cannot come up with the cash to settle local debts. So instead of having the option of leaving and paying the debt from abroad, they get desperate and just escape. I see enough dusty cars with flat tires in airport parking lots to know this is quite common. I think most people want to pay their debts but these rules force some into a corner. Seems the banks stand to lose more the way things are than trying to work with their customers before it becomes a legal problem.

Curiously, as I said in a previous post the banks seem uninterested in retrieving these automotive orphans to mitigate losses.

Banks Seem Unconcerned About Recovering These Assets, They Are Everywhere

    Also, there are reasons why banks here cant allow people to pay for debt from abroad. Mainly because you cant enforce it in any way. If a bank scares you into thinking that it can "get" you when ur back home, they are usually mistaken. Few are the countries in which a bank here can get a bad debt holder to pay. Truth.

I think that is changing. I recently got a small personal loan and was asked for family addresses back in the US and my Social Security Number so I could be easily located.Debt collector firms wordwide purchase bad debts from banks all the time and take on the risk of recovering the debt. VISA and Mastercard are also global companies with aggressive collection methods and could damage my credit rating back in the US.

    There are however non official ways to continue to pay for asset backed loans (Like a car or house) but we wont get into those. I will say that I had set a few such schemes up for customers and they did not cause me any issues till the day I left. But not all customers are like that. With 20% of the country being labor, and another 30% being low level employees (with low incomes) you simply cant take chances with everyone. It it really is a chance.

    The banking system here is based on caution. In the UAE it's the exact opposite. Yes, a healthy way to be would to have a nice balance, but you have to understand the contact, this region is not a stable one. the UAE may be stable, but it's surrounded by shit and bad stuff.

    Also, with 90% of the country's population foreigners, the control you have over securing your loan is close to nil. Truth is if you take out 500K worth of loans and leave within a week, the bank will have no warning and little recourse.

I think any of the banks here would go after someone owing that amount of money. They would be crazy not to.

    As for banks not being all they can be to consumers, it depends both on the bank and the consumer.

    If you have a salary of 55K, a 1.6 million mortgage, a car loan, a personal loan, and credit cards, the banks are the best you'll ever deal with.

    If you make 55K and send 45 back home on the same day, most banks wont care about you.

I truly understand about the demographics here and the difficulties they bring.

    Also, not all banks here have the same focus. NBAD has, and is, and probably always will be a corporate bank. Its main job (originally, and still) is to be the banker of the Govt of the Emirate of Abu Dhabi as well as govt owned companies, semi govt companies, and large corporations.

    Do they have consumer banking solutions? yes. Are they good? Maybe. Are they the best? No.

    For a consumer, a more consumer focused bank like RAK bank might be a better option. RAK Bank is one of the few UAE banks that does NOT have a corporate banking section. Only consumer (you) and SME (Your small business)

    As for consumer rates (You mention a credit card at 35%) yes, it is highway robbery. But things are getting better. A few months back the central bank limited what a bank can offer and charge in terms of base banking and lending. CC were not included. Maybe in the revision next year. (Last year a certificate of liability costed 400, today its no more than 100 by law)

I have VISA and MC CC's with US banks that charge 10-12%. I agree 35% is very excessive for the same here. I took that aformentioned small personal loan (unsecured) for a very reasonable single digit rate. The credit cards are a cash cow and are aggressively marketed by commissioned salespeople. The rules seem lax and a lot of naive newcomers succomb the the lure of easy and high credit limits.

    The lack of a central lending database = ppl can get into debt easily and with multiple banks without the banks knowing. But this isnt the banks fault. The lack of the data base is the system's fault, but no one forces all these morons to sign those loan agreements.

You are right on this. Theoretically, a person can get multiple credit accounts from several institutions without being qualified for the aggregate of the limits. This would not happen in countries with an independent credit bureau because that person could be tracke and info shared between financial institutions. In the US, every citizen has a credit score which sets limits on the amount that can be borrowed.

    It simply isnt anyone else's fault if you cant manage your finances.

I agree with you on that, but it seems a lot of people get into trouble in the UAE and that trouble can cause very serious legal consequences. In my opinion, the banks are like drug pushers making easy credit available to most. Hell, I bought a 99,000AED car on 100% credit after just 90 days on the job. Was that dumb...yes! Would I do it again...no! That car is sold now and I currently free of debt, at least in the UAE. I know many that are way over their heads in credit balances and will have to be in the UAE many more years than they want.

But ultimately it was my decision as I rose to the bait and took the hook.The banks are enablers but it is ultimately the individual that is responsible to refuse the offer.

    But yeah, you added alot of "baharat" (Spices) to the story Ace.

I didn't intend on singling out NBAD. They have treated me quite well except for the online banking troubles. My post tended to drift toward the overall financial system in the UAE as seen by a retail customer.

You are/were obviously a bank employee. I appreciate the insight and if there is something I failed to understand, let me know and maybe I won't sprinkle as much "baharat" on my future posts about the rules here.

UPDATE:

I just received an email today, 19 November, from the bank addressing my initial question I asked on 29 October, see below.

Email from Ace to the National Bank of Abu Dhabi, 29 October:

I am now blocked from my online account. I need this fixed as I have bills to pay. Your phone message says 24/7 service for the online accounts and I was informed I could not be helped after 11:00 PM as the technical service was closed.

Ever since the website has changed, there have been problems.

Ace

The "prompt" reply 3 weeks later, 19 November:

Dear Ace,

Thank you for your recent email.

You are kindly requested to reply the following to help us process this faster:

1. NBAD Account number:

2. PO Box number:

3. Branch you received the password from:

4. Mobile/Telephone number:

5. NbadOnline User ID:

6. time to be contacted :

For any further assistance, please do not hesitate to contact us again on toll free 800 XXXX from outside UAE) between 8:00 AM to 12:00 AM on all UAE working days (from Saturday to Thursday) or send us a reply email.

Thank you for using nbadOnline.

Regards,

Back Office Person

Internet Banking Unit

National Bank of Abu Dhabi

I had better luck with the telephone help-line and the problem was solved 2 1/2 weeks ago through them. Apparently the email guys are not only unaware that the problem was fixed a long time ago by a 1 1/2 hour call to the help-line, they are just getting around to looking at the problem 3 weeks after my initial email complaint. Unbelievable!!!!

I expect things to work once they are set up. Here internet , banking , electricity and cable TV services are very fragile and I have experienced many unexpected shutdowns. I cringe when I have to enter the labyrinth of what is called "customer service" in Abu Dhabi. It has always meant a time consuming and frustrating experience trying to correct a situation that was not of my making.

Damn Banks

2011-10-30T16:30:00.001+04:00

Both Abu Dhabi and Dubai have become huge world financial centers in the past 40 years. With the oil export and tourism income there is plenty of cash flow that attracts international banks as well as made home grown institutions very wealthy. For the most part these banks are some of the safest and most innovative in the world. One can even instantly pay a parking meter or almost any bill from a cell phone text message.

However, the banking business must be the lowest risk enterprise in the UAE. I am sure they take care of each other and big corporate clients in the "Good Old Boy " club but the ordinary retail guys seem to get it in the neck. 35 % interest on credit cards and an unholy alliance with immigrations assures a healthy profit and jail time for anyone attempting to leave the country with debt.

You will take it and like it! (Apologies to Gunny Ermey!)

Many innocents are lured with fast and easy credit when first arriving here and get into a big bind. It is tempting with the apparent affluent lifestyle of fancy cars and designer shops. People should pay their debts but should be able to do so from another country if they choose. That option is not available here.

But Solar Powered ATMs Are

I recently had problems with my bank, the National Bank of Abu Dhabi (NBAD). This firm sent out a notice a few months ago that they were upgrading their website and I would have to make some adjustments such as losing my templates I used to transfer money and pay bills. From my past experiences with the national telephone, internet and cable TV companies, I had a strong feeling this website upgrade was not going to end well. It didn't.

We Like You!!

Two days after the "upgrade" I tried to log on and got errors and denied access. I called the help desk and was assured the problem would be handled and I would be called back with the magic solution. No call back for 2 days. I called again and my password was reset....failure again. I made my 3rd call and was told I can't be helped because the technical center was now closed despite the on-hold recording proudly announcing online help was available 24/7. The same recording told me to press 4 for online support and after suffering through more minutes of raucous advertisements it told me to press 6 for the special online help desk. So I did.

Mind you, I have a lot of bills to pay back in the US and I have to refill that bucket every month ontime or suffer some very expensive consequences. That urgency was lost on my bank. I finally got the site working after another lengthy phone call only to find it takes many more levels of security, passwords, questions, token codes and I had to redo all my payment templates. Very clunky and not an improvement. I do not mind security, but this could have been made sleeker and more user friendly. I suspect I will cringe everytime I have to do online banking again. I just expect something else to go wrong.

This Big Building Didn't Just Spring Out Of The Ground By Itself

Overall, NBAD is not a bad bank but they screwed this up. Remember, the rules are different here and things are definitely tilted in the banks' favor. You will not win, ever. The vast majority of my friends and co-workers have horror stories about their dealings with UAE banks.

My recommendations:

DO NOT get a local credit card, even if it says Visa or Mastercard on it, the rules are different. Read the fine print. Keep cards and debt in your home country.

DO NOT buy a new car. Get a good used one, they are cheap and plentiful.

DO NOT go into any kind of debt here. The banks are ruthless and if things go tits-up for you, you could get prison time. Its the law. You will severely limit your "options".

DO NOT keep more in your local UAE account than you need to live on month to month. Send the excess back home. The banks will take what is in your account on the slightest pretense such as a traffic violation. Geez, they even want ~$40USD to give you a clearance letter saying you do not owe them any money.

I am not picking on the UAE banks specifically, they just have their own rules that are bad for us consumers. The banking industry in the USA has caused far more damage to the global economy and hurt more people than a UAE bank could ever do. Shame on them and their greedy ways. They screwed up a good thing, may they rot in hell!

Automotive Orphans

2011-10-21T15:13:00.000+04:00

Firstly, let me explain my lack of posts in the last few months. I have been on kind of a "Blogcation". There are several reasons for this. The summer is brutal here and staying indoors is a survival tactic. Since I am not a mall rat or movie theater kind of guy (I prefer watching movies in the comfort of my own home where cold beer, cheap popcorn are at hand and the loo is but a few steps away), that means long, tedious and boring days off at home.

Much like folks that live in Northern climes during winter, one develops "cabin fever". This phenomenon dulls the senses, encourages laziness and crushes creativity and motivation. Since I no longer own a car, journeys outside are not as spontaneous as they used to be and I have been doing fewer interesting things to write about.

Now, the weather is moderating and I am coming out of my summer hibernation. I can leave the windows open now and feel the cool breeze. I feel my energy coming back and the creative juices are flowing again like sap in a tree at springtime. So look for more activity from me in the next few months. I have a lot of catching up to do.

Cats are cool, this one is confident and fearless 18 stories up balancing on a thin rail. It just doesn't give a crap! I wish I had the powers that cats have. I love this photo!

Now to the topic. In Abu Dhabi and the U.A.E. as a whole, there are thousands of abandoned cars. You see them everywhere from airports to residential parking garages to streetside downtown. They are instantly recognizable due to the heavy coat of dust they sport. Most have messages scrawled on the dusty windows such as "please wash me" or "runner" (more on this later).

"Wish my girl was as dirty". Hint for the Ladies! Spice up your life!

These are not old rustbuckets that were destined for the junkyard either. Most are late-model Porsches, Mercedes, Audis, Jaguars, BMWs and other desirable makes. In the parking lot of the place I live, I have seen the same abandoned cars sit for over two years. The management here even has them washed once in awhile so they wouldn't be such eyesores. I find that hilarious! Don't fix the problem, just make it look better. Kind of symbolic of the way things are generally handled here.


This Audi TT has been here for 2 years! It is washed occasionally by management.

Recently Getting Police Attention

Tires go flat, batteries die, paint dulls and the interior appointments dry and crack from the sun and heat. Why are these fine automobiles left to rot in the extreme elements here? The simple answer is that the laws in the U.A.E. are to blame. You see, it is illegal to leave the country for good if you owe money.

If you do the right thing and inform your employer of your intention to resign or are fired, the employer informs the bank and the bank informs immigrations if you have a credit balance. In most countries, you are allowed to pay back debts from abroad. Here, you will be detained, arrested and checked into the "Gray Bar Hotel" as you attempt to leave the U.A.E. owing money. Everyone must have a bank clearance letter to emigrate.

This harsh treatment and wicked alliance between the government and the banks forces some expats facing a dire situation (you cannot stay here without a job) to just leave without notice and abandon everything behind to escape prison time. These desperados are known as "runners" and the dusty cars littering the parking lots around the U.A.E. are their legacy. This is one of the reasons I sold my car and have resisted the temptation of going into debt with a local institution.

A Nice Volvo

Abandoned BMW

The vast majority of these cars are owned by the banks through loans to individuals yet they sit for years in the same place where they were abandoned. While the banks are aggressive about punishing individuals that owe them money, they are curiously passive about recovering these cars so they can resell them and cover some of their losses. Its like they don't give a damn, just another cost of doing business. Such a waste seeing these fine cars rotting away. Where I come from, the banks hire "repo men" to recover automotive assets within a few months. Here it seems more important to send someone to jail than to mitigate losses by actively recovering these cars. Just another example of how I have trouble understanding how things work over here.

I never have and I never will!

VW Scirocco , not abandoned but I want one!

The End of an Era?

2011-07-25T13:16:00.001+04:00

At the end my last post, I wrote briefly about some signs I noticed that seem to signal the general decline in the American spirit. The economy is in the crapper, unemployment is high, many people have lost their life savings and the government is more unresponsive and corrupt than I have ever seen. I saw first-hand on my trip last month how these things have a negative effect on the individual citizen's and the national collective psyche. The whole country is in a blue funk.

An event happened last week that twisted the knife of despair a bit more; the last US manned space flight mission ended as the Space Shuttle touched down at Kennedy Space Center. It was a good 50 year run that I personally thought would never end.

Final Space Shuttle Landing at Cape Canaveral

I have enough years under my belt to remember most of the manned space program, it was always an interest of mine and I assumed it would always be around to innovate, explore and inspire. Mercury, Gemini and Apollo......those names were known by all and generated excitement all over the world. Obviously, the lunar landings were the pinnacle of the manned missions.


Schematic of Mercury Spacecraft

Original Mercury Astronauts

Gemini Space Capsule

Apollo Schematic

Lunar Excursion Module. Your mobile phone has more computing power than this thing did! Yet they pulled it off!

The Eagle has Landed

Us Americans just HAD to get a car up there

The moon shots would prove hard acts to follow. The Space Shuttle was already on the drawing board during the Apollo program. It was conceived as a vehicle to usher in the next phase of space exploration, sustainability.. The design was to contain many reusable parts. Compared to the sleek Saturn V rockets of the Apollo program, the Shuttle was chunky and utilitarian as befitted its mission of hauling stuff into low Earth orbit.

The Space Shuttle failed to captivate the imagination of the public.The mission was boring but ended up productive.

Saturn V used in the Apollo Program

Saturn V Liftoff, Loud and Sexy!

Predictably, as the excitement and danger of the previous far reaching missions gave way to a "space truck" taking lab rats into low orbit, public interest waned even though a lot of valuable research was done that resulted in many things we take for granted today. The Shuttle program, although productive, just wasn't sexy.

The Space Shuttle needed to be retired. It was old technology even when it was new and proved to be way more troublesome and expensive than imagined. It never achieved the goal of almost monthly launches as envisioned by its architects.We lost two of them, Challenger and Discovery.. Challenger from brittle O rings and Discovery from some bad ceramic heat tiles. Time to put the old girl back in the barn.

Challenger Explosion

What upsets me is that there is no replacement on the horizon. For the first time in 50 years, the US is incapable of sending a human into space. Now we have to hitch a very expensive ride on Russia's Soyuz capsule that was designed in the 1960's. The Soyuz is currently the only game in town.

Russian Soyuz in Orbit

Soyuz Schematic

A Not so Subtle Soyuz Landing in Kazakhstan, Hey, But It Works!!!

Soyuz Post Landing. Vodka consumption is part of the re-entry checklist.

If they pull the plug on that relic, I hope the last astronaut leaving the multi-billion dollar International Space Station remembers to turn the lights off as it will be awhile before anyone steps foot aboard again.

International Space Station, hide the keys under the doormat when you leave..

The rocket scientists at NASA knew the Shuttle retirement was coming at least 15 years ago and just sat on their hands. Oh, they did waste $9 billion trying to develop potential replacements such as the Constellation and other programs but when things got too difficult for them, progress was not made and the money dried up, they just said "screw it" and went back to whatever rocket scientists do when they are not making rockets. There was much motion but little progress.

Once an Icon, but has recently lost their way.

NASA has become as bloated and inefficient as the US government so I am not surprised talent and innovation do not thrive there anymore. Too bad, that wasn't the case at one time. It looks like as the NASAsaur fades into irrelevance, we have to look toward the movers and shakers in the private sector to pick up the baton to keep manned space flight alive, Profit is a strong motivator and if there is money in it for these entrepreneurs, they will make it happen. There are already some bright spots on the horizon.

Well, to make a long story short (I know, too late), America's abandonment of its manned space flight program is just another symptom of a general malaise that is lingering in the country. For 50 years these programs were a source of pride, inspiration, and a large part of America's identity.. The manned space programs motivated people from all over the world to look up to the night sky and maybe forget for a time the dreary details of daily life. We dropped the ball.

It doesn't bother me so much that the Space Shuttle program is no more, its that there were no replacement vehicles seriously considered. This indicates an abandonment of the pioneer and "can do" attitudes of the past that the US and Americans are known for. Lately it has seemed we are just consumers of Chinese imports, producers of dodgy financial instruments, whiny wards of the State, world policemen and contemplators of our own belly button lint. Not a good path to follow. Remember what happened to Rome when Emperor Nero was plucking his fiddle

In general, the US has been declining in spirit and purpose for awhile now. Maybe it is the inevitable maturing of a society. We have seen this before with other countries and empires in the past. America's heyday of the 1800s -1900s are over and maybe it is time to take a breather and hopefully we will rediscover the values and drive that made the US and Americans a unique country and culture. I am intolerant of mediocrity and hope that I can see a positive change in my country soon. There is still so much potential there.

Annual Leave 2011 Epilogue

2011-07-17T12:39:00.000+04:00

So I was in Florida and enjoyed visiting my mother and some old high school friends that still live in the area. The weather was on-and-off with a mix of rain and sunshine,It was good smelling the the fresh Gulf of Mexico air and not having to deal with the desert dust. I felt more relaxed than I had in a long time and the days flew by all too quickly. On my final day, I was having some beers with friends and it became time for me to leave for my 9PM flight to Las Vegas. I drove home and packed my things and headed for the airport. I checked in at 7:55PM, checked the rental car in and headed toward the security gauntlet.


Gulf of Mexico

Best Beaches in Florida if not the World

This is where my nightmare started. I went through the x ray and metal detectors but at the end of the line I was confronted by a TSA agent holding a factory sealed package I had bought at a pharmacy earlier. He said there were unknown liquids in there and he would not let me go without a further screening. I was unaware of the liquids and asked what I could do to mitigate the problem. He said he had to throw away the item. I said that since I had spent $40USD for it that I wasn't too keen on that idea. A discussion ensued and the agent's supervisor had to become involved. We all finally came to an agreement that I had to put the liquids into a clear baggie and I was finally free to go. As I walked from the security area, another TSA agent gleefully announced to me that my flight had already left. Bitch!

Security Theater

That left me in a pickle as there was not a flight until the next night which would necessitate razor sharp planning to get to Chicago for my Abu Dhabi flight the next day and I was still stuck in Florida. There are a few things wrong with this. First, I checked in on time with Vision Airlines (who by the way lost my bags on the inbound trip), second, TSA delayed me way too long in the security line. It was a small airport and I was the only passenger in the queue. Thirdly, when a passenger checks in and is known to be delayed in security, the flight is held, this did not happen. I have been in the airline business for over 12 years...I know.. 5 minutes earlier and I would have made the flight. They pushed away from the gate anyway.

The 9/11 guys ended up winning anyway because every US citizen is treated as a felon when attempting to board a flight as a result. Now there are backscatter units that see through clothes and exposes the victim to radiation that would rival Hiroshima doses.


Land of the Free?

.The particular airport I departed Florida from recently had some bad publicity by making a 95 year old woman in a wheelchair take off her adult diapers before she could board her flight. I am all for security and stuff but it has gone too far. If any passenger starts acting hinckey during a flight, they will get their ass whipped by the other passengers. If that fails, there are firearms onboard carried by certain authorized personnel. No one is going to get away with another 9/11 stunt again.

So the next night I boarded my redeye to Las Vegas. All liquids were bagged per orders so I got on the flight. I landed in Vegas around 2 AM and proceeded to drive the 2 1/2 hours through an inky black desert night to St. George where I had to leave for Chicago via Salt Lake City to catch my flight to Abu Dhabi.

I got to St. George just in time to collect some of my stuff I left there and get to the airport. I was already tired from the transcon flight to Vegas and the drive so I slept on the way to Salt Lake City. St. George has a brand spanking new airport.


KDXZ

US, Utah and St. George flags

I had a 4 hour layover there before my sector to Chicago so I got a few beers. Salt Lake City is a very passenger friendly airport. Time to go to Chicago and I slept most of the way after this sumptuous breakfast.


MMMM...Three or Four Peanuts and a Can of Beer!

Another grueling 4 hour wait for my 14 hour flight to Abu Dhabi but the Chicago terminal was nice. I fed and watered for the long time enroute and was happy to get a business class seat. The flight went quite quick and I was lucky to meet one of my bosses in duty-free upon arrival in Abu Dhabi, he gave me a lift to my flat.

All in all I spent almost 48 hours in transit that last day. I DO not want to do that any time again soon. I had a good time and felt very relaxed back home and was thrilled to see family and friends.

Saying that, things are bad back there economically. A lot of my friends are in danger of losing assets and savings. The government doesn't seem to care and is doing nothing for the average citizen. I know things are relative and the US is still quite wealthy compared to most parts of the world but stuff seems to be winding down back home. Maybe it is the inevitable ebb and flow of nations and cultures but it is still sad. We have no one to blame but ourselves, however. We had a good thing and we screwed it up.

"Big E Bullshit"

2011-07-16T19:27:00.000+04:00

I am getting damned tired of turning on my TV and computer only to find out there is another problem with my video and internet reception! I got up early this morning to do some work and catch up on emails only to find both devices blankly staring back at me with these vague "You will not be entertained or get any online stuff done for an indefinite amount of time" messages.

I live in a fairly new building complex and I know from my past technical experience that the network here is a state-of-the-art fiber optic system capable of wonderful things. Why the provider, "Big E", can't keep it operating is beyond me. I suspect a weakness in the human factor is to blame. The infrastucture is there but not enough skill, knowledge or planning to make it work reliably.

I literally spent hours on the telephone trying to work things out with sometimes ill-mannered, cryptic help desk personnel and have had many visits by technicians. One time a tech guy called when I was in the shower and because I failed to answer the phone right away he left and cancelled my service request. I couldn't get another appointment until 4 days later. They come, do some things to make it work and it ultimately fails later.

The services are not cheap either. There is no competition for my business. The UAE has some of the highest communication rates in the world. Back home there would be 3 or 4 providers vying for my money, I had a choice, Here, take it or leave it. For the amount I pay I expect much better service.

I cringe whenever I fire up the laptop or turn on the television as I anticipate yet another problem. With the monopoly here I can't expect it to get better as they have no incentive to improve. I am stuck and it seems I have to deal with it. Such a waste of my time and theirs..

So here I sit after yet another unproductive, tedious help desk call awaiting a field technician to contact me. Apparently its a hardware failure, seems to be not enough LEDs are lit up on my fiber optic modem. I have a 12 hour graveyard night shift later today and I'll bet the tech's call will come right in the middle of my afternoon snooze. Past experience almost guarantees it.

Nothing is easy! Dammit! I pay enough for online access and I expect it to be reliable. Did I mention the internet is censored here too?

Annual Leave 2011 Part 2

2011-07-09T17:03:00.002+04:00

So I stayed in St, George, Utah for awhile. I visited where I used to work and saw a lot of my ex-coworkers and friends. St. George is one of the most beautiful places on Earth, it is in between the mountainous Colorado Plateau and the Mojave Desert. This gives the area a unique geography. You have granite mountains on one side, red sandstone on another and real desert on another replete with Joshua trees I love the changes. Each turn of the road reveals another scenario. I never get tired of it.

St. George, Utah. Heaven on Earth


A Joshua tree,they are not to be screwed with! I love the desert.

After a few days there socializing and taking care of some personal business, I had to drive to Las Vegas for a flight to Florida to see my mother.


Virgin River Gourge

Interstate Highway 15 Though the Virgin River Gourge

My Car-- Topless in Mesquite, Nevada

Virgin River Gourge

Interstate Highway 15 Virgin River Gourge

I am here to tell you that there are few things more pleasurable than hauling ass at 90 MPH in an American Ford V-8 Mustang GT five speed convertible on a long, straight desert highway. The rumble of the engine combined with the sun on my face and wind in my hair made the journey one to remember.

The Virgin River Gourge was one of the last sectors to be completed in the American Interstate highway system due to the rugged terrain. To this day, mountain goats and dynamite marks can be seen on the mountain sides which makes this one of the best 20 miles of road in the USA.

I got to Las Vegas OK and stayed with some friends and flew to Florida the next night. One complaint I have is my flight left out of Terminal 2 and all the bars were closed at 9 o'clock. That just ain't right as I was in the supposed fun capitol of the world and I couldn't even get a cold draft beer before my flight! Bullshit!

The overnight flight to Florida went alright except the airline misdirected my baggage in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. They made up for it the next night by delivering my bags to my mom's house. Mom was doing well and after being reunited with my clean skivvies from the recovered luggage, I was good to go. I got lucky at the rental car company as they gave me a new 2011 Fire Engine Red Mustang. I flirted with the attractive Filipina attendant and she gave me the Mustang instead of a boring Buick Lucerne.God love her!

2011 Mustang...Mom's house, Ft. Walton Beach Florida

Loved the Car!

I spend a few days relaxing in Florida as it was hectic in the previous week. I haven't felt so rested in months I spent time driving around neighborhoods where I grew up and to the beach. A year ago, the coast was threatened by the large BP oil spill. The area dodged a bullet as there are few signs of the accident now. Maybe all the crude is on the sea floor but none is evident on the beach.


A Sandpiper

Not a Good Day for the Beach

Wayside Park

Inclement Weather

Southern Speak

Children's Art From Destin Elementary School

I Found This Hanging From a Tree Branch

One day I went to the Blue Marlin Tournament at Sandestin. I was early as no boats came in to the docks that day for a weigh in but I had a good time nevertheless.

No Thanks!

Northwest Florida Wetlands

More Wetlands Maybe a Gator or Two In There

A Cool Bar

Baytowne Marina, Sandestin Resort


I Don't Think So

Life is Good!


World's Largest Fishing Lure

Are you Shitting Me...My Speedo does Not Go That Low!


One of the Premiere Billfish Tournaments in the World

While at Sandestin, I met this little buddy. They are commonly known as cameleons but are really anole lizards. They change from lime green to tobacco brown in an instant. You can see the color change in the photos. He/she is turning brown. The throat thing is a territorial sign for me to keep away. Didn't work. They are good cat toys.


Turning Brown and Threatening Me

Edited June 10 for more photos and content.
Stay tuned for part 3

Annual Leave 2011 Part 1

2011-07-01T11:19:00.000+04:00

On the 29th I returned to Abu Dhabi after over 3 weeks in the US. I had a good time and the trip was very productive for a change as I got a lot of business done as well as having some fun along the way. As always, it was great to see friends and family. It was almost like I never left as everyone looked and behaved the same. That was comforting as I need that consistency in my life. Some folks were undergoing changes because of some personal and/or financial reasons but overall things had not changed much.

The places I visited are on this link to Google Maps.

I arrived in New York, New York (the city so nice, they named it twice!) on the 9th and checked into a hotel room near the airport as it was too late to continue out West that night. I turned on the television and was shocked at the amount of advertisements! Ten minutes of content are interrupted by five minutes of commercials for medicines and food. I wondered if this was all people were interested in. One channel had what I consider one of the evils in the USA, the evangelistic, pseudo Christian "snake oil" preachers that sell false hope to people who are experiencing hard times.


Watch Your Wallet!

"Miracle" Spring Water

Wish it Was This Easy!

Anyway, this was entertaining for awhile thinking the Deity could erase my debts just by dripping some water on my noggin. May be worth a try! If it worked, I guarantee I would have a much happier expression on my face than the woman above.

New York was experiencing a record heat wave when I was there. It was 98 degrees F, the hottest since 1933. I was dripping sweat the whole time. I fared better than most as I am acclimated to the harsh UAE climate.

Ther next day I boarded a Delta Airlines flight to Salt Lake City and ultimately to St. George, Utah. The flights went uneventfully except the young lady sitting next to me slept on her tray table most of the way. When the tray tables were ordered up on descent, she slept against the seatback movie screen and I suggested to her friend that we secure a pillow in case of a rough landing so she won't bruise her rather attractive face. Must have been a long previous night!

I arrived in St. George and stayed at a friend's house. I was delighted that his two dogs remembered me and were happy to see me. For the next few days they were my constant companions.

Rayo the Boxer Dog

Bailey the Golden Retriever

Rayo and Bailey Clowning Around

Dogs have no sense of time. I could go outside for 3 minutes but when I came back in it was like I had been gone for ages and they would jump all over me like I was never coming back. I miss my furry buddies!

I flew back up to Salt Lake City to meet another friend and we went to Wendover, Nevada for some gambling and debauchery at the casinos there. Wendover is about 110 miles due west from Salt Lake City. It is where all the Mormons go to be naughty. Border towns in Nevada offer a stark contrast to the straight-laced Utah residents.

The way to Wendover is an arrow-straight interstate highway through some of the most unique lands in the world. It passes through the Bonneville Salt Flats which are well known for land speed record attempts. Every winter it rains and melts the natural salt. In the summer, the water evaporates and leaves a perfectly flat bed of bright white salt which covers hundreds of square miles.Good for racing!

Train on the Original "Gold Spike" Route


Bonneville Salt Flats

Bonneville Salt Flats

Strange Sculpture in the Desert

The ride to Wendover was fun. In addition to the above sights, I saw a weird airship hovering north of the motorway. It looked like a stationary radar blimp but no tethering lines were visible. I am not saying this craft is anything out of the ordinary but it is rumored that since Area 51 north of Las Vegas got so much publicity, the government moved a lot of clandestine activities to the Dugway Proving Grounds in northwest Utah near where we were driving. As far as I know, the US military has not flown blimps since the 1930's. There are many restricted areas there and it is very remote.

WTF is This?

??????

Aliens?

We got to Wendover successfully without being abducted and probed by Martians. I spent three days there in the Nugget and lost 2 weeks pay. I had fun anyway playing craps and blackjack. Wendover is home to some very strange people due to the isolation and proliferation of drugs.There is nothing there but gambling.,alcohol and crystal meth which attracts the fringe.

The Nugget

Wendover Casino

I flew back to St. George after the junket and had to take care of some business there. I had to get the laptop repaired, new tires on the car, a visit to the bank, a haircut and meeting up with friends, not necessarily in that order.

Back to St. George, Great Salt Lake Below

Snow Still on the Wasatch Mountains

Part 2 will be my journey to Las Vegas and Florida. Much to tell there.

Best Laid Plans II

2011-06-04T19:28:00.003+04:00

It is Summer again and that means it is time for my annual leave back to the homeland. It has been over a year since I have graced (or befouled, depending on your political and/or moral leanings) my nation of birth.

The US, Something For Everyone!

I get asked all the time why I don't get back to the USA more often. Due to my vocation, I have the means and time to do so. The simple answer is that the taxman is to blame. He keeps me away from friends and family for all but a mere 30 days a year or he will make claim of a rather large percentage of the income I earn in foreign lands.

I have complained about this before. American citizens living and working overseas are penalized if they dare spend over a month back home during a year. Family emergency, screw you...you pay, miss a flight, screw you... you pay, break a leg and need hospital time, screw you...you pay. Get the idea? No other country treats its expatriot citizens this harshly. As a veteran of the US Navy, I am not amused. I served my country and now they hold this sword over my head.

I find this wrong on many levels. As an expat, I put no burden on the US infrastructure and I don't add to the massive debt and deficit. I feel like I am actually doing the government a favor by not living there. They don't have to feed and house me or provide me with medical care. They don't have to worry about policing me or collecting my garbage but for some reason they feel the need to stick me for taxes if I don't follow some lame random rules anyway. Even when I live 8000 miles away and have not earned a penny in the US for years. It is MY money not theirs!

Internal Revenue Service

Anyway, rant over. I am due to fly back home in a couple of days, and I am apprehensive about it. I should be happy and excited, but instead I sense a dark foreboding. I am clueless to why that is.

The first thing that happened is that a good friend/ex- coworker and I planned to meet here 4 days in advance of my departure. She was to fly from the US, we would see some sights then fly back together on my departure date back to JFK and go our own ways from there.

Simple, huh? Not quite. She was standby and got bumped off the flight from JFK to Abu Dhabi in a rare occasion where everyone actually showed up on time for the flight. Not one of the ~300 seats went unfilled. It was an abort at the last minute. She ended up going back to her home.

I had delayed my departure to the US due to her visit and now have 4 empty days in Abu Dhabi eating into my valuable annual leave time. I could alter my plans and leave Abu Dhabi earlier but it is cost prohibitive to change my employer supplied JFK to Utah discount tickets on Delta airlines. Even if I did eat this cost and go through the gyrations of changing my itinerary (nothing is easy here!), all I would gain is 2 days because the travel center is closed today and the earliest I could possibly leave is the 6th instead of the 8th.

This is a perfect example of the "Butterfly Effect" where it is theorized that the presence or absence of a butterfly flapping its wings in a certain time or place may trigger the presence or absence of a hurricane in another time or place. In other words, series of minor, unrelated events add up to alter the lives of others. If just one passenger was delayed in NYC traffic and couldn't make the flight, my friend could have gotten a seat and my plans would have been realized and theirs would not.

Uh Oh, Could Be Trouble!

We are not as in control of our existence as we like to think, everything is interconnected and our lives are determined by random things that happen near and far. For example, think about the circumstances surrounding the meeting your significant other. Most likely the meeting was the result of purely random choices, location and timing. Muslims have a good word for this, Inshallah. Loosely translated to, "If God is willing, it will happen". I am not sure about a deity being involved, but I think for the most part, we are just along for the ride with little personal influence in the outcome. There are just too many outside factors beyond our control.

Anyway, I will chronicle my upcoming visit back home in words and photos again as I did last year. Those posts seemed to be very popular and I will try to outdo myself this year. I plan on visits to NYC, Utah, Las Vegas, Texas, Florida, Alabama, Georgia and Chicago. Even though the start of my holiday was not auspicious with the failure of my friend's trip, I hope to have many adventures and stories to tell, Inshallah!

Songkran

2011-05-12T15:07:00.000+04:00

I have been in kind of a mental slump lately. Maybe it is the return of the heat to this region, or maybe it is fatigue due to my brutal work schedule.All I know is that I have had a severe case of dont-give-a-shit-itis in the past couple of months. A possible cure for this condition presented itself in the form of an invitation to join a colleague and his Thai wife and 4 year old son to Thailand last month for Songkran.

Songkran is the Thai New Year' Celebration. In the old days it was held when certain astrological conditions were met that closely coincided with the vernal equinox. Elders and monks were visited and water was sprinkled on the shoulders of family and friends as gestures of good luck for the coming year. Faces of those blessed by Buddhist monks bore a chalk marking, also a symbol of good luck. Seems like no matter where you are there is some sort of vernal equinox celebration.It seems a universal human need to welcome the time when the Sun is aligned with the equator and daytime and nightime are equal. Christianity's Easter is an example.

In modern times Songkran has been pegged around the middle of April. Different regions of the country celebrate at different times but mostly it is observed between the 13th and the 19th. The gentle sprinkles of water have given way to water bazookas and 5 liter buckets recharged from giant bins of ice cold water. Motorists on certain streets have to run a gauntlet of revelers armed to the teeth with diabolical water dispensing devices. No one can expect to stay dry. My mobile phone was a casualty of an errant splash.


A Direct Hit on a Mobile Dreadnaught


Couple of the Valiant Troops

Waiting for the Taxis

These Guys are not to be Screwed With


Looking for Trouble


Logistics Kept us full of Beer


Thailand, Land of Smiles!


Howling at the Moon


You Fill in the Blanks! No Magnums? Dammit!!!


This is Weird on Different Levels..What's with the Bow Tie? Formal Night?


After 3 Days of Songkran, I can Relate with these Thai Pups!

At first I was I was skeptical. How much fun can I have being squirted with ice water constantly for 3 days? Come to find out, it was a blast! I felt I was 10 years old again. It was like an aquatic Mardi Gras. What's better than the sanctioned, unlimited use of a water bazooka against others?

Everyone was in a good mood and I never saw even the hint of a conflict. I love Thailand and its people. The Land of Smiles! They know something about happiness in life that us Westerners have yet to discover.

Go to Thailand during Sangkran (or anytime), you will not regret it!

LIQUOR LICENCE-LOCATION DETAILS

2011-04-09T22:59:00.000+04:00

My resourceful readers beat me to it, one even has GPS coordinates. Nothing is easy here when it comes to finding things.I apologize by not posting these images earlier but my internet was down for the last 4 days from dealing with a dispute with the telecommunications giant here in Abu Dhabi well known for their customer service. I think most can relate.

There are no street addresses and everyone you ask seems to have a different opinion on which direction one needs to go to get to the desired destination. It is especially frustrating when a legal requirement must be met and good intentions are thwarted due to lack of information.

IMHO, the whole Liquor Licence thing requirement is going away due to what I have seen lately, but best be legal just in case.

Below is a Google Earth view of the new office. The courtyard to the lower left is a shambles due to construction which makes it hard to find the place to park as there is no local parking and the licence renewal office is smaller than my bathroom.

Thousands of expats are trying to do the right thing and comply with the law, but this is gonna be tough!

The road at top is the Mooror Road

Good luck, you will need it!

FAI Race at Yas Island

2011-04-03T17:56:00.001+04:00

I usually don't post twice in one day but I am in a writing mood and wanted to get this done. I went to this race two weeks ago. The venue was the the Yas Island Marina Circuit which is just a few KM's from my humble abode. When I first moved here, it was a wasteland, everything was under construction and just to get a loaf of bread was an ordeal. Now Khalifa City A as it is known has come into its own. I rarely have to venture into the city anymore.

There are world class hotels in this area now and the Yas Island complex is home to the Formula One race and many other automotive events.

This will be mostly photos...one picture is worth a thousand words!


Ferrari World Theme Park, I am not Kidding! Landscape Pending


Roller Coaster at Ferrari World

Yas Marina Circuit

At the Racertack


The Pits


A Dragster Built for Three, Who Would have Thunk?

One For the Kidlets!


Can we have have that in English? Damn!

Some Attention Seekers, It worked!


Looks like the good Captain is in danger of losing his First Mate!


Some Nice Ladies at the Info Booth


Twilight at the Track

A Yacht Show was running Concurrently

A Million LED's

A hell of an Engine you will not find in your everyday Kia. That would be overkill!

Where your $4/gallon is going.

Damn, left my checkbook at home again!


Ditto!

How the Other Half Lives


Note the cubby-hole for the Jetski.

Racecars and yachts made for a good day, I enjoy the choices I have here.

Equestrian Polo, Abu Dhabi Style

2011-04-03T14:22:00.000+04:00

I was recently invited to a polo match. It came out of the blue and I didn't know what to think of it. I was thinking I would have to find a crested blazer and an ascot to fit in. I am not Thurston Howell III but a simple guy who likes simple pleasures and this seemed way out of my league. I was assured otherwise and decided to go.

Thurston Howell III and his wife, Lovey

It was a beautiful Spring day and I rented a car to go to the venue halfway between Dubai and Abu Dhabi. I miss owning a car and was excited to have the freedom to go where I want, when I want if only for 48 hours. I am looking for a "beater" car to regain my independence. Taxis and public transportation have their place but there just seems something missing by not owning one's car.

Anyway, I arrived at a well groomed polo grounds. Admission was free and although there was a VIP section, we all decided to go "picnic style" as did most other spectators. Wine, cheese and bread were consumed while watching the action just yards away. Enjoy the images.

Pre-match procession

Ace, enjoying the action!

My Lovely Hostesses


Scoreboard, I still don't know the rules

Aerial Feats!


The guy actually missed the roof but not by much!

Even though I miss my friends and family back in the USA, I feel fortunate to have the opportunity to live and work in the UAE. I have options and experiences to be had here that I may not have had back home. After all, you only go around once.

LIQUOR LICENCE-THE SEQUEL

2011-03-27T18:20:00.002+04:00

The older ones had much more quality and were built like miniature passports, these new ones look like wedding invitations.

For those of you may not know, adult beverages can be legally purchased in the UAE by non-Muslim residents but only if you possess an annually renewable licence issued by the Criminal Investigations Department of the Abu Dhabi Police, its the law!

To obtain one, you have to personally submit a passport photo, a copy of both your residence visa and passport, a letter from your employer (replete with numerous colorful ink stamps) stating your employment status and salary, completed forms and 200 Dirhams (~$50) fee. You have to relinquish your old licence, too.

Despite my extreme adversion to anything that even hints of the administrative, I have to admire the tolerance of the Abu Dhabi government to even allow alcohol to be sold/served in their Emirate to us expats and tourists in this Muslim country. It goes against the majority religion but it is a concession to the large dependence on foreign workers in the UAE.

I have lived in Utah and the Deep South, USA where the dominant religion(s) extended me less choices than I have here. There were no permits to be had and entire portions of certain states are "dry".

Anyway, each and every year I have submitted the exact same documents with the exact same information at the exact same office. I have a thick file already at the police station and I have yet to do anything wrong! There is only one office in the Abu Dhabi City metro area for this purpose and fortunately it was very close to my domicile....until today!

I had a coworker drop me off at this particular local police station after work to get this taken care of. I met an officer in the parking lot and told him what I was there for. He said the liquor license operation had moved a couple of days before to another location near downtown. This new bit of information surprised me as I had been to this police station 5 days before but was there after hours and was told to come back later. Nothing was mentioned about the move.

The desk sergeant inside drew me a crude map and I decided to take my chances and grab a taxi to the new digs. The location was apparently in between two landmark buildings and should be easy to find. How wrong I was!

The taxi driver assured me he knew where this place was but threw up his hands in exasperation when we arrived at the general area. I told him to just let me out and I would fend for myself. I asked no less than five different people where this police station was and all gave me a different answer. Remember, there are no street addresses in Abu Dhabi. Hint: when someone points toward a destination, it is usually wrong by at least 45 degrees.

A Good Samaritan finally gave me a ride to another police station in the area. I thought my quest was at an end but they ended up pointing me to another place two blocks over. They didn't do liquor licenses there. I had already been hoofing it for an hour and figured this was my last best chance.

I found myself in one of those small blocks of 4-5 story buildings with retail on the ground floor and flats up top as is typical of Abu Dhabi. The place was a mixture of old and new buildings with ongoing renovation. I asked several pedestrians if they knew of a police station in the area, all I got was blank stares and shrugged shoulders. Then I asked a general laborer that was working in the block. He nodded his head yes and pointed to a renovated building 30 meters away from where we stood. I saw two guys just inside the door with police uniforms on and a very small Abu Dhabi Police logo posted outside.

I walked over and confirmed I was in the right place. I went upstairs and was issued a bright, shiny new liquor licence within minutes. Everyone I dealt with once inside was pleasant and efficient. I was the only one there. Why? Because it takes a Sherlock Holmes to find the place! There are no obvious signs on the building and one almost has to trip over it to find it. I spent over an hour looking for the only office in Abu Dhabi to renew my liquor licence.

I see a problem here. I know the rules and I try to follow them to the best of my ability, but when this is made more difficult than it should be, I reckon others will cut corners and not stay current on their licences. If there is going to be a legal requirement for something, make it easy for folks to comply. I think most would!

This place is really hidden and it took me in excess of an hour on foot and many false starts to find it after a long 12 hour night shift. So since I know where it is now and can save my readers time, aggravation and money, send 50AED and I will part with the GPS coordinates. Ace has to eat too!

Wild Africa Indeed!

2011-03-17T12:37:00.001+04:00

Any adult beverage that comes in a bottle wrapped in faux leopard skin should not be taken lightly, ask me how I know!

Cool bottle, good taste (think Bailey's Irish Cream), bad hangover!

I think I need some hair of the "cat" that bit me.

Better Late Than Never

2011-03-16T22:03:00.003+04:00

As a US citizen living and working abroad in an historically unstable part of the world, I duly registered my status with the US Embassy here in Abu Dhabi. It is recommended in case of a political meltdown (unlikely in the UAE) so one can be found in case evacuation is prescribed due to unrest which may put US citizens in harm's way.

One big benefit of being a US citizen abroad is that the government is dead-set serious about getting its own boys and girls out of a bad situation. I can count on that and it is comforting that I can rely on the USN and USAF to have a plan. One of the basic tenets of the US government is to protect its citizens, no matter where they are. Most other nationalities don't have this luxury.

US Embassy, Abu Dhabi

If I have to avail myself of their services in times of turmoil, I will consider every penny of tax I paid as a good investment.

Things are "hot" in this part of the word lately with uprisings in Libya, Tunisia, Yemen, Oman, Egypt, Bahrain (close) and others. The UAE and Saudi Arabia are quiet and safe for now but who knows when things might spill over.

Which brings me to the point of this post. I just got an email from the US Embassy advising me of the troubles surrounding me even though widespread shit has been happening in the region since January. The warning is here:

from	Abu Dhabi, ACS
to		"Abu Dhabi, ACS"
date		Mon, Mar 14, 2011 at 8:47 AM
subject		Warden Message # 6/2011: Stay Alert to Regional Developments
mailed-by		state.gov

hide details Mar 14 (2 days ago)

Warden Message # 6/2011: Stay Alert to Regional Developments

U.S. Mission to the United Arab Emirates
U.S. Embassy Abu Dhabi - U.S. Consulate General Dubai
March 14, 2011

The U.S. Mission to the United Arab Emirates reminds Americans to remain
alert to regional developments. Below are summaries of current guidance
from the U.S. Department of State for many countries in the region. The
most up-to-date guidance and information can be found online at
travel.state.gov <http://travel.state.gov/> .

In the event of an emergency, such as the death or arrest of an American
citizen, the Embassy and Consulate General stand ready to assist 24
hours a day. You may contact the duty officers at +971-2-414-2500.

The U.S. Embassy in Abu Dhabi is located in the Embassies District, Plot
38, Sector W59-02, Street No. 4, P.O. Box 4009. Telephone:
+971-2-414-2200, fax: +971-2-414-2241, email: abudhabiacs@state.gov
<http://abudhabi.usembassy.gov/mailto;abudhabiacs@state.gov> , on the
web: http://abudhabi.usembassy.gov <http://abudhabi.usembassy.gov/> .
For after-hours emergencies in Abu Dhabi, call +971-2-414-2500 and ask
for the Abu Dhabi Duty Officer.

The U.S. Consulate General in Dubai is located on the 21st floor of the
Dubai World Trade Center, P.O. Box 9343. Telephone: +971-4-311-6000,
fax: +971-4-311-6213, email: dubaiwarden@state.gov, on the web:
http://dubai.usconsulate.gov <http://dubai.usconsulate.gov/

> . For
after-hours emergencies in Dubai or the Northern Emirates, call
+971-2-414-2500 and ask for the Dubai Duty Officer.

Bahrain

The U.S. Department of State urges U.S. citizens to defer non-essential
travel to Bahrain at this time. (Bahrain Travel Alert
<http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/pa/pa_5349.html> dated
February 18, 2011)

The latest information and guidance from Embassy Manama can be found
online at http://bahrain.usembassy.gov/demonstration.html.

Oman

The U.S. Embassy in Muscat advises U.S. citizens of ongoing
demonstrations, marches, sit-ins and protests throughout the Sultanate
of Oman. (Embassy Muscat Warden Message
<http://oman.usembassy.gov/wrdn_msgspublic-announcement.html> dated
March 13, 2011)

The latest information and guidance from Embassy Muscat can be found
online at http://oman.usembassy.gov/wrdn_msgs.html.

Yemen

The U.S. Department of State urges U.S. citizens not to travel to Yemen.
U.S. citizens currently in Yemen should consider departing. (Yemen
Travel Warning
<http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/tw/tw_5364.html> dated March
6, 2011)

The latest information and guidance from Embassy Sanaa can be found
online at http://yemen.usembassy.gov/yemen/citizen_services.html.

Libya

The U.S. Department of State warns U.S. citizens against travel to Libya
and recommends U.S. citizens in Libya depart immediately. (Libya Travel
Warning <http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/tw/tw_5358.html>
dated February 25, 2011)

The U.S. Embassy in Tripoli suspended operations on February 25, 2011.

The latest information and guidance on Libya can be found online at
travel.state.gov
<http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/cis/cis_951.html> .

Egypt

The U.S. Department of State continues to warn U.S. citizens to defer
non-essential travel to Egypt. (Egypt Travel Warning
<http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/tw/tw_5347.html> dated
February 18, 2011)

The latest information and guidance from Embassy Cairo can be found
online at http://egypt.usembassy.gov/consular/travpubl.html.

Tunisia

The U.S. Department of State continues to advise U.S. citizens currently
in Tunisia to defer non-essential travel to the central, western, and
southern regions of Tunisia. (Tunisia Travel Alert
<http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/pa/pa_5375.html> dated March
10, 2011)

The latest information and guidance from Embassy Tunis can be found
online at
http://tunisia.usembassy.gov/service/about-us/embassy-notices2/warden-in
formation.html.

This email is UNCLASSIFIED

I hate to complain and appreciate the effort but a more timely "heads up" would be welcomed.

Japan Tsunami

2011-03-16T17:17:00.001+04:00

My heart goes out to the Japanese people. At no time in my somewhat extended life have I seen such massive destruction. There was a "Hat Trick" of earthquakes, tsunamis and nuclear powerplant explosions that even the most ambitious Hollywood movie blockbuster producer could not have dreamed up. I don't believe this particular combination of disasters has ever occurred before.


The epicenter of the earthquake was offshore

At the risk of sounding insensitive, if these things were going to happen anyway, it couldn't have been in a better place. The Japanese are well known for being aware and prepared for earthquakes. Building codes, transport systems, utilities and infrastructure have all been designed with the risk in mind, but who could have expected the trifecta of disasters that all happened at one time? If this would have happened in any other country, things would have been much worse by several orders of magnitude.

Successful recovery by a real hero

That doesn't lessen my hurt though. I consider Japan and its people as good world citizens. They are innovative, productive, polite and keep to themselves, kind of like I wished my own country was.

Yes, they made some mistakes in the 1940's but since then the Japanese have been net contributors to the global population.. There is not one person on this planet that has not been influenced for the better by Japanese technology in some way.

Damaged F-16

Uncontainment

I spent some time in Tokyo a few years ago and was impressed by the friendliness, efficiency, comfort and overall wackiness of the place. It all works well, though. My memories of that time make the recent events much more personal.

I can't help but notice the contrast between the way the Japanese are recovering from this disaster and the way things were back in the USA after the hurricane Katrina flooding in New Orleans. The Japanese response seems much more coordinated and united than the chaos, shootings, lootings and finger-pointings that happened in Louisiana.

US Navy assistance for Japan

I don't enjoy bashing my own country or people, but the stoic and purposeful way the Japanese are handling the recovery sets an example for all. Maybe its an Asian thing and the more I discover about that, the more it seems a better way of life....just my humble opinion.

I wish the best for the Japanese folks, they didn't deserve this.

Aviation Art

2011-03-09T14:19:00.000+04:00

Lately I have been corresponding with a fellow airline guy and was pleasantly surprised to discover he is quite a talented artist as well. His website is: http://www.jerryandersonart.com/

Here are some samples:

I bought this one because I am a turboprop geek

Jerry can also do custom paintings on commission. His prices are reasonable and his talent is obvious. Check out his website and consider making an investment in an original piece of aviation art .

And I Thought Traffic in Abu Dhabi was Bad......

2011-02-27T10:17:00.005+04:00

I often complain about the bad drivers and daunting traffic in the UAE, but when I stumbled across these videos I realize I was just being a wimp. This is the real deal!

Mumbai (formerly Bombay), India. Not much density here but the way the large trucks, cars, motorcycles, bicycles and pedestrians interact is hypnotic to me. I watched this several times in awe at the cooperation between the different types of transport. Pure impromtu choreography without middle fingers or shakened fists displayed. Everyone just kept moving and dealt with it.

The two videos above are from Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon). The traffic is denser and almost takes on an organic look as if the mass of vehicles are the corpuscles of some large animal. Its almost as like each driver knows what the others are going to do through some understanding of universal unwritten rules. It is lawlessness and anarchy that somehow seems to work without too much bloodshed. I think it is an uniquely Asian thing. Could you imagine this chaos working in the Western world? I can't, we need our traffic lights, signs, cops and turn signals.

And finally Kathmandu, Nepal. I have experienced this personally during a long weekend there. I hired a driver who deftly navigated the vehicular mayhem without a care in the world. He was in tune and did just fine.. I was in the back seat white-knuckling the grab handle above my head and getting sensory overload from the speed, congestion, horns, exhaust smells and the "coat of paint" proximity to our fellow motorists.

I am of the impression that these are not bad drivers, in fact I envy the skill demonstrated in such a hostile environment. I couldn't do it without a few dented fenders or spearing a moped. I would need a drink after (or before!) a few blocks at the wheel in these places.

On the other hand, some of the drivers in the UAE are just stupid. The roads are first-class here and there are more than a few that look at that as license to drive like maniacs just because they can. They tend to lack the concept of self preservation or responsibility to their potential innocent victims. One example of this is the red light runner captured on the video below, selfish bastard!

Now Libya.....

2011-02-22T18:31:00.005+04:00

I thought the Colonel had things under control over there. I am wrong!!! Two Libyan Air Force jets defected to Malta rather than firing on their own people, good on 'em!

Geez, who's next?

Iran is behind all this stuff.

Very sad about the four Americans killed by pirates, looks like time to kick some Somali ass! They can't get away with that. Murder, pure and simple and the scumbags must be held accountable. They fucked with the wrong people and I hope justice will be swift and sure.

Maybe a few well-placed smart bombs will persuade these goddamn animals from doing this again, but I doubt they will get the hint.

Eye for an eye

Turn their country into a parking lot, why are these piss ant pirates getting over on us. Attack and sink any boats that leave the ports.

I would like to see an airsrike on that shitty country, I am upset with the murder of my fellow countrymen.

Bahrain

2011-02-18T00:12:00.002+04:00

Of course I have watched with keen interest the events happening in the Middle East and North Africa for the last few weeks. I am a Westerner living and working in the area and can't help but be concerned of the ultimate effect it will have on my security and near-term way of life. I don't intend to sound selfish but I am only human and these thoughts naturally cross our minds about individual survival.

Seems a wildfire of popular protests have ignited in neighboring areas, the sparks blown about by the strong winds of dissatisfaction of the common folks, international press coverage, internet social networks and yes, maybe some international interference by another neighbor.

My Opinion of Iran's Government

First there was the ignition of tender wood in Beirut and Tunisia, then Yemen, Egypt, Libya and now Bahrain. If I forgot any, let me know, I will give full credit. Let us not forget the Iranian government's saber rattling of late which could have very well been the carelessly but intentionally dropped lit match.

During all this regional turmoil the Iranians are currently brazenly sailing a naval battle group through the Suez Canal, a stunt not done by them in decades. It is rare that one sees such a vulgar display of power during a very sensitive time in the area. It is easy to see they want to be the power over here!

Add this to the public videos of missile launches, announcements of nuclear capabilities (threats) and the covert videos of the Iranian government's fatal suppression of dissent by their own citizens, I think it is not a far stretch to figure out they are one of the reasons for instability in the region. They have a lot of money to donate to radicals and I believe the Iranian government instigates some of these actions. The coincidence of outrage in multiple countries simultaneously cannot be ignored. It seems orchestrated.

That being said, the disgruntled common man in these countries have a lot to be pissed-off about. They had the same rulers for decades in the most part and have see their lot in life decrease as their masters prospered more and more. Big mistake on the rulers' part. This sets up a pressure not unlike what causes earthquakes when the tectonic plates of the Earth slip and we are seeing the results of that destruction and rebirth now. An earthquake occurred in Cairo and Mubarek is beached.

The people do have power and we are seeing the demonstration of that when the common citizen feels he/she has nothing left to lose. Somewhat like a cornered tiger, someone will get hurt. My own country was violently fought for and won by the Patriots back in the day against its oppressors, they got fed up with the bullshit too. The will of the people will always win out eventually. Civil (r)evolution is inevitable when there are inequities and leaders have to realize that or they will continue to be blindsided by the force of their subjects.

This leads us to the disturbing troubles in Bahrain. It is one thing when people fight across town but quite another when they fight next door and I can hear the yelling from my house. Bahrain is an easy day's drive from my billet in the UAE and it is a little disconcerting to see the conflict so close.

Bahrain, A Days Drive, Yemen is Pissed Off and Close Too, I live in the UAE

Bahrain is an oil/natural gas rich kingdom and is a relatively liberal Muslim country, but not a member of OPEC. No one wants for much. Apparently the recent rancor is due to differing sects of Islam. You see, the ruling class in the Kingdom of Bahrain is Sunni and most of the population is Shia. The Shia feel left out of the relative prosperity of the Kingdom and feel discriminated against by the ruling Sunnis. Most of the Shia sect are from Iran (some for many generations due to trade between the countries) and are the majority sect in that country. Call me crazy, but it seems easy to connect the dots.

Closer Look at Bahrain, Small but Important

Tanks in Bahrain

In addition, the US Navy's Fifth Fleet calls Bahrain home. That means huge tactical and strategic shifts of power in the region if there are significant changes in Bahrain.

As I said, I live in the UAE which is a leisurely day's drive or a 45 minute flight from Bahrain. The tensions in Bahrain are getting close to home but I am not worried for now, I am surprised it is happening there and hope cooler heads will prevail. Bahrain has alway been known as stable until now.

The UAE is one of the wealthiest nations in the world and the rulers are generous and good to its citizens, they seem OK. That is the key. I have been here since 2008 and it is a very well run country, I feel comfortable in the UAE.

There still exists a problem as Iran invaded three islands in the Arabian Gulf from the UAE in the 70's. Iran has fortresses built there now with anti-ship missile installations. The dispute is ongoing but has not been resolved to this day. Iran is the North Korea of the Middle East!

I am registered with the US Embassy and I understand there are contingency plans in case of emergency evacuation of American citizens. I may end up "haze gray and underway" on a US Navy ship again after all these years but I doubt it. I am not packing my bags yet but I am keeping much less cash in my local bank account just in case the sparks blow over this way.

One positive is that I have not seen any American flags burning in the streets or the POTUS hanged in effigy. I consider the lack off those very good signs

Travel Tip: On this (Western) side of the Gulf, the body of water between the Arabian peninsula and Iran is known as the ARABIAN Gulf, not the "P" Gulf word! It is considered very gauche and insulting to refer to it in the latter over here.

Local Tabloid

2011-02-15T16:24:00.000+04:00

Same as all over the world....folks like the sordid!

Al Ain Aerobatic Show 2011

2011-02-13T11:25:00.003+04:00

Al Ain Aerobatics Show Entrance

I recently attended the Al Ain Aerobatic Show in Abu Dhabi’s “Second City”. I am no stranger to air shows and have been known to go to great lengths to see them. You see, I have been a “Wingnut” since a very early age and am naturally attracted to all things aeronautical. My father was a fighter pilot for the USAF and I spent some years in the US Navy as a flight officer. Even my current vocation is aviation related, you can’t keep me away from these winged wonders, it’s in my blood! People either like flying or they don't, there are very few in the middle.

I look at manned flight as a minor miracle. Flying is the rare combination of engineering, art and skill. As one who has experience in high performance jets, it is difficult for me to convey the sensations of speed, freedom and power to those that have not had the opportunity. Being able to loop, roll and go anywhere you wish in the vast three dimensional environment of the atmosphere has no rival in any earthbound activities. You can go from weightless one moment to seven times the force of gravity the next. Loud and fast is just icing on the cake! High performance flight is physically demanding but mentally exhilarating.

Announcers

Temporary Control Tower

The weather at Al Ain airport was one of those perfect UAE winter days with a clear blue sky and a light cool breeze. Because my time was limited I did not get to see all the shows that day but what I saw was impressive. The Baltic Bees (Latvia), Saudi Hawks and Turkish Stars jet demonstration teams all put on a heck of a show and I was envious of them from my grounded perch. The aroma of jet fuel and the roar of the turbines made me yearn for the “wild blue yonder”.

The Baltic Bees from Latvia in their L-39C Albatross Jets

The Saudi Hawks Flying BAE Hawk Aircraft

Saudi Hawks

Saudi Hawks....One for the Ladies

Saudi Hawks Team Member

Turkish Stars Demo Team....Northrop NF-5 Freedom Fighter Jets

Turkish Stars-Low and Slow, Gear Down

Turkish Stars

Turkish Stars-The NF-5 is Capable of Supersonic Speeds

Play-By-Play Announcer on the Big Screen

In between these feature shows there were radio control model flights and some dirt bike stunts. The RC models had actual jet engines and were incredibly detailed. They sounded, looked and smelled just like the real thing.

Incredibly Detailed Scale Radio Control Models

Just Like the Full Size Version

This intrepid pilot failed to get his jet started

Scale RC Model of Canadian Snowbirds Canadair CT-114 Tutor

Snowbird Fly-By

There was also an impressive demonstration by a solo UAE Air Force Mirage fighter aircraft. It’s comforting to know these guys are watching out for us.

UAE Air Force Mirage 2000-9

My Best L'il Buddy Capt. Jack D. Denham (R) with his Mentor from the UAE Air Force Just Before Takeoff to get some bad guys

I had fun and that is what life is all about. There were activities for all. I was dreading a parking and overcrowding fiasco but that did not occur as logistics were well planned and executed. The only minor gripes I have is that there were some schedule inconsistencies and then I developed a sore throat from sunburned tonsils and a stiff neck due to looking skyward for several hours straight and there was no draft beer available. Small price to pay but we all have to make our sacrifices.

This Must Be A Logistical Problem When Nature Calls!

Desert View-Al Ain Outskirts

Abu Dhabi Golf Championship 2011

2011-02-03T09:17:00.002+04:00

I went to the Abu Dhabi Golf Championship the other day. The weather was appropriate as the cool temperatures, overcast skies and occasional drizzle were reminiscent of the sport's birthplace in Scotland. The climate was very unusual for Abu Dhabi as for four days in a row it was cloudy, cool and rainy. In all my time here I don't recall a series of days it was this way.

The Falcon is the State Bird of the UAE,,,,Hence the Design of the Clubhouse

I have a love/hate relationship with golf. I used to play at least twice a week back in the day. While I enjoyed being in the groomed beauty of the links, I got frustrated in the difficulty of the sport. One millimeter off on a swing and the ball careenes into the woods. There is nothing worse to a golfer's ears than to hear his ball bouncing off of tree trunks that are out of bounds of the fairway. It is almost impossible to find the ball when this happens and a snakebite is risked looking for it anyway. Best to take the penalty.

Go Left...Left...Left...Dammit!

Golf is unique as your competitor is yourself. You don't actually play against your partner, you try to best your last score despite who you are playing with. Of course score is kept, but golf has handicaps which means the less skilled are spotted strokes so in theory everything is supposed to be equal. Unlike football, cricket or baseball, there is no direct competition between you and your partner. It is you against the course.

An Unconventional Stance

I actually have not played in several years as I found I could get angry and frustrated without gripping a 5 iron and paying a green's fee. I have been known to throw a club or two after a bad shot and I discovered that despite the bucolic setting, other golfers tend toward the rude. They just take themselves too seriously.

This really can't be too comfortable, have the caddy hold the club

Some of the aspects of golf I enjoyed is that like bowling, one can play while smoking cigars and drinking beers. Unlike bowling though, you are outside and the whole world is your urinal. Yes, golfers pee in the woods but the cultured ones take their glove off first.

Then there are the golf carts. I have never seen vehicles so abused as these were when out of sight of the clubhouse or a course marshal. I have seen these in full tilt four wheel drifts on fairways, run high speed through creeks, driven up tree trunks and more. The original off-road vehicle. Besides, driving under the influence is overlooked on most golf courses.

Golf Cart...Abu Dhabi Style

So I quit playing. Because of this I am saving money and my blood pressure is way down. This doesn't mean I don't like golf, it is a game of finesse played in beautiful venues. If I had my choice, Ii would just take a nice walk along the fairways. There is nothing more peaceful than a golf course at sunset.

The Leaderboard

That being said, the Abu Dhabi Golf Championship pulled off another winner. I enjoyed being there as the location and people were great! A class act and a great spectator experience. There were activities there for all. They put on a good show and I recommend everyone attend future events. I have to admire the guys who play professionally, it is a tough way to make a living.

Carless In Abu Dhabi

2011-01-28T16:41:00.003+04:00

I had to make a major lifestyle decision a few weeks ago to sell my car. This was not taken lightly as I am a certified automotive geek who has been known to perform major repairs under a shade tree and show up to fancy social functions with grease under my fingernails. I love automobiles, they represent engineering prowess and are the tool for the ultimate personal freedom for one to go anywhere at anytime. I have not been without a car since I was 15 years old and that was many moons ago.

I actually sold my Jeep yesterday. You may wonder "Ace, if you are such a car guy why sell your own vehicle and have no plans to replace it?" Well ladies and gentlemen, that is a good question and the answer is complicated and multifaceted.

After a lot of contemplation, I came to the conclusion I just didn't need it. After 2 1/2 years I have only put 10,500 KM's on the thing. I only used it as a "grocery getter" a couple of times a month shuttling back and forth to the liquor store and the few odd appointments downtown. I concluded it had became not much more than a $500/month paperweight.

You see, when I go anywhere from the relatively tiny country of the UAE, my vehicle of choice burns kerosene and travels at Mach .88 39,000 feet or so above the earth. I relax with a fine wine while catching up with the latest movies. Although in large countries such as the US, a car is essential because of the distances involved. Not a factor here.

At times, I like to partake of adult beverages in the city with friends. The UAE, being a Muslim country has severe penalties for driving under the influence of drink so I always took a taxi for these events. My Jeep was not a transportation option for these occasions.

After a Night on the Town

When I first moved to my current location, it was quite isolated and taxi services were sporadic at best. Just to get to somewhere for groceries or a meal was a logistical nightmare without a car. Now the complex where I live has grown up and sports a grocery store, medical center, pharmacy, spa, coffee shop, gym, dry cleaners, restaurants and much more. Most of my needs are available within a ten minute walk. I can even rent a car here when I need one. My workplace is literally across the street so I can walk there.

Khalifa City Moonbase, View out of my window...Really!

With the growth of the area, there are now many transport options. At least a dozen taxis are at my beck and call 24/7 and free shuttle buses are available to many venues.

I liked my Jeep and hated to let go of it but I just couldn't justify keeping it. The advantages outweigh the disadvantages. I will have to make adjustments in my life but the extra money I will realize and the freedom from tickets, insurance, fuel costs, car washes and the bad drivers here will more than make up for it.

Right now, being without a car feels to me like being naked, but that will pass as I adapt to the situation. I still have my beloved Mustang GT convertible back in Utah, USA to fall back on!

I just had to throw this in, I am enchanted!

The Road to Morocco

2011-01-21T14:34:00.000+04:00

I would like to ask for some help from my readers on behalf of a friend. She is a university student in France and has entered a contest where she has created her dream adventure. The idea is to have the most comments on her chosen itinerary. Currently she is in second place with almost 200 comments so there is a good chance we can put her over the top! Go to this website http://www.magrandeaventure.com/ It is in French so use the translate feature in your browser, then leave a comment at the bottom, its that easy! The winner will get a trip to Morocco. Below is Anna-Lou's dream adventure:

Anna-Lou Prepared to Carve some Trails on her Mountain Bike

My itinerary is not yet fully defined, but I know I want to see:

Yemen: Yemen's capital, Sanaa, go to the university there, interact with students (I myself am a student), then I would bury myself in the land and go wadi wadi (Wadi Dhar Wadi Doan etc. ..), from village to village ... Visit the towns of Seyun Al Joola, Al Khoreiba, Bukjan, Mukalla, Bir Ali, Aden, Jebel Sabir, Taiz, Zabid ... Climbing the Jebel Hadour Maswar!

Then join OMAN:
Salala Sur, Masquat, Dibba, Musandam ... 'll Also wadi wadi, meet local people, swimming with dolphins, see the turtles in the south. Climb Jebel Shams and sleep under the stars!

As a young student in multimedia and sensitive to what is unusual, this corner of the world attracts me a crazy way. We hear so many things, often different from reality. I think it would be nice to show the true reality ... I have already spent a few days in Oman, but I was frustrated not able to see the country completely. There is so much to see! And Yemen attracts me a lot ... this country to look beautiful and much different from my native Chartreuse!

I realize that my trip might seem a little dangerous. That's why I like to do together, I'll make sure to find the best partner suited to my energy and boundless thirst for travel!
I really want to highlight the expertise and local traditions, to go to meet people. If I can achieve my dream, so ... wow!

I had the pleasure of meeting Anna-Lou last year when she was on a work-study program here in Abu Dhabi. She impressed me as very intelligent, driven, fearless, and possesses a great sense of humor. I can't imagine anyone more deserving to win. Anna-Lou is an accomplished blogger in her own right so if she wins, she owes us a guest post and photos of her Morocco trip on this site.

Thanks!

Tragedy in Tucson

2011-01-10T10:20:00.002+04:00

Last Saturday, a disturbed 22 year old Jared Loughner attempted to assassinate US Congresswoman Gabriel Giffords in a supermarket parking lot where she was meeting with constituents. Six were killed including a Federal District Judge, a US Marshall and a 9 year old girl. Giffords was shot in the temple and survives in a coma after surgery. Twelve other bystanders were injured in the attack.

This morning at work, a coworker from a European country where citizens are forbidden to own firearms smugly made an insensitive comment to me about how us Americans are somewhat barbaric to settle our differences with guns. I realize the majority of countries in the world forbid the private ownership of firearms and a lot of folks consider our Constitutional 2nd Amendment Right to bear arms a relic of the old Wild West and was responsible for the recent rampage. Nothing can be further from the truth!

For example, I notice there are a lot of IED bomb explosions in places that forbid firearms. Some groups have even used occupied and fuel-laden civilian airliners as a tool to express their opinions in my own country. My point is that a mentally unbalanced individual and/or group will find a way to cause mayhem with whatever is available. No guns, make a bomb.... no bomb, poison sarin gas will do.... no poison, hijack some airliners, ad infinitum. Blaming the tool is missing the point. Do you ban automobiles because bad drivers regularly kill innocent others?

Back home, I own several firearms, some pistols, an SKS semiautomatic rifle and a 12 gauge shotgun, all legal. I purchased my first rifle at 12 years old and learned from my dad how to handle and respect their power. I am a sportsman/target shooter like the vast majority of gun owners in the US. I find it an enjoyable skill as well as a useful home defense against the bad guys if necessary.

There are millions of responsible gun owners in the US. Purchase and ownership is not extended to felons or those who don't pass a background check. Unfortunately, there will be some weapons that fall into the hands of the criminals and crazies. Ironically, the areas with the strictest sanctions against legal firearm ownership have the highest crime rates. Washington DC comes to mind. If the bad guys know their intended victim is likely to be unarmed, they will be emboldened. If guns are outlawed, only the outlaws will have guns that are obtained illegally.

A free society with generous rights bestowed upon the citizens is inherently more risky than a totalitarian state as some of those citizens are free to make bad decisions. There is a natural trade-off between freedom and security. Personally, I prefer more freedom and will take my chances with that rather than exist under a "Nanny State" that promises total safety. I am responsible for my own welfare and I resent those that say they know better what's good for me.

Mr.Loughner is one of those fringe, unstable people that make-up a small percentage of any population. He would have tried to kill Gabriel Giffords anyway with a hammer, baseball bat or an IED bomb if he could not have obtained a gun, such was the intensity of whatever demons he had. There are bad apples everywhere. Don't judge American society (and the vast majority of gun owners) on the actions of a lone lunatic.

My deepest sympathies to those innocents killed and injured in this horrible tragedy and I hope justice is swift and sure for the perpetrator(s).

My 2011 New Year Resolutions

2011-01-01T17:10:00.000+04:00

The beginning of a new year is the time which many take stock of their lives and endeavor to make a fresh start to improve themselves or their lifestyle. Most of these self-promises involve getting rid of bad habits such as smoking, drinking, overeating and replacing them with healthy diets, exercise and other good practices. While this is a noble cause, I wonder how many people stick to their resolutions. Studies show that it takes at least six weeks for a new behavior to replace the old one. That’s a long time to be inconvenienced!

As for my own New Year plans, I pledge to:

--Eat and drink what I want, when I want. Food and drink are here for our pleasure. My consumption indirectly provides valuable jobs to farmers, ranchers, brewers and restaurant workers and who am I to deny them or myself. Win-win, don’t worry, be happy!

Scene from Monte Python's The Meaning of Life

--Lead a sedentary, lazy life. I believe one is born with only so many heartbeats left in their future. Why accelerate my demise by exercising and using my allocated heartbeats faster? Pain, sweat, odor and bad joints are also unpleasant byproducts of vigorous activity. I plan to keep my pulse slow by spending long, uninterrupted hours watching TV and taking frequent naps.

Keeping the Pulse Rate Low

--Quit worrying about money. If I want that cool new mobile phone or other gadget that will make my life easier, I will buy it no matter how little cash I have in the bank. Isn’t that what credit cards are for? Money is nothing than dirty paper strips without merit until I convert it into a shiny new trinket I can brag to my friends about.

Buying Stuff is Fun!!!!

--Stop stressing about all the clothes on the floor and dirty dishes in the sink. The clothes are easier to find that way and I might hurt my back by picking them up all the time. Washing dishes causes unsightly wrinkles on my hands. Why bother? I plan to switch to all styrofoam/plastic tableware and toss them out in the trash when soiled. My dishes and cups will be filling that landfill south of town instead of my kitchen sink. Problem solved!

No more going through cramped drawers or closets...its all right here!!!

Goodbye dirty dishes,,,I am going disposable!!

--Drive as if I am the only one on the road. I am only cheating myself by being safe and courteous, no more letting that guy merge in front of me. As for using my turn indicators, forget it, that only makes the light bulbs burn out sooner. Speed limits are not for me anymore, I am going to drive like my hair is on fire as my reason is more important than my fellow motorists’ reasons for being on the road! Double park, you betcha! Screw 'em!

Heena Khan/Gulf News Photo

I believe that these resolutions will be real easy to keep. I like to win and hate to lose so I think I have made a solid plan for 2011 that will have a very high likelihood for success! Feel free to adopt my plan and modify the resolutions to fit your own lifestyle. You will be glad you did! I will let you know how it is going in six weeks.

Gearhead Heaven (or Petrolhead Paradise)

2010-12-12T23:08:00.000+04:00

The other day I went to the Abu Dhabi International Motor Show (ADIMS). This event happens every two years which surprises me considering the car crazy culture in the UAE. I figured it would be an annual event. The show was held in the Abu Dhabi National Exhibition Center (ADNEC).

I have always been an incurable Gearhead (US) or Petrolhead (rest of the world). At 3 years of age I could discern different makes and models of cars. It is a native ability which unfortunately is not a lucrative one.

Seems there is there is always something going on at the ADNEC but this was my first time there. I have to say I was very impressed with the facility. Easy access and parking in the garage. The venue was squeaky clean and the attendants and security personnel were pleasant and helpful.

One of the first things I noticed was this:

A pool,table fashioned after a 1965 Mustang

This is a creation of a company called Classic Pride from Dubai. I have to admire their vision. This was nicely done and they do a lot of other stuff with classic car themes.

All the major automobile brands had a display in addition to some local vendors and customizers.

For A-L

And many others.

One of the most interesting cars was in the Mazda area. This vehicle was shrouded for a few hours and when it was unveiled, this is what emerged:

In my opinion, easily the star of the show. While it it a concept car and most likely will never see production it still is a good example of creative design.

Hyundai had an interesting car on display also. They have come a long way from the econobox they have been known for in the past.

Abu Dhabi's Finest were well represented also.

And then there are the dreamers....Yes that is $800,000.00

Nothing beats Detroit heavy iron. They may be crude but you can't beat the Bang for the Buck!!!!

As far as pure style goes, this is my favorite:

For a cruiser, this Jaguar would be my choice, but the guy picking his nose in the background kind of ruins it for me:

I saw this woman sitting in the black Ferrari convertible and I tried to get her to do a friendly wave. She responded as if I asked her to take her pants off. I shot the photo anyway. I had a media badge on too! Bitch!!

Speaking of which, most of the women hired to showcase the cars were acting badly. Sure, I was there early and there were not a lot of folks around at that time but I saw most of the models sitting around, drinking coffee and yawning. They were not promoting the cars at all. If it was me as their boss, I would have sent them packing! Bad attitudes and indifference don't sell cars!

These ladies were cool though!

Anyway, there was some activities outside, namely the white Prado obstacle course. You would think there would be nothing left to prove as most are seen doing 200KMH+ in the fast lane but here ya go! They can actually go slow too!

And then was the Go Cart track. The concessionaire made a big deal about changing into a race suit like you are an F1 contender. I have to admit that it looked like fun but at 150 DH a pop, I had to decline. The carts sounded like they had Briggs & Stratton lawnmower engines in them but the track was tight and suitable for the speed.

All in all it was a fun afternoon. I love things automotive and this scratched my itch. The facility is top notch and things were run well. However, I am left wondering why there were not more people there and why this event is held only every two years in this otherwise car-crazy country.

Best Laid Plans......

2010-12-11T22:51:00.001+04:00

So the other day I had to get some business cards made and I decided to take care of that after a 7PM to 7AM graveyard shift. I got home and shut my eyes for awhile to do a light recharge of my batteries and intended to awake and get the chore done in a few minutes and go back to bed.

Arabic Strip Mall

Near me in Khalifa City A is what I call an Arabic strip mall. It juts up out of the flat suburban landscape like a monument and can be seen from miles around. These are ubiquitous throughout the Emirate outside of urban areas and consists of retail establishments on the ground floor and professional offices/ apartments above. One can get just about anything at ground level from tomatoes to hammers.

Arabic Strip Mall

I went to a photography store that I had used before to see if they could print the business cards. After waiting about 10 minutes while the owner did his books back in his office, he finally appeared and asked me what he could do for me. I asked him if he could print business cards and he shook his head "no", but there was a stationery store around back that could. I thanked him and drove around back and found the correct store. there was a problem though, there was a huge sign declaring the closed status of the business even though another sign assured me it should have been open. Thinking someone might have been late, I sat in my car for awhile but no one showed up. Fail!

Despite this, I decided to go to the local smoke shop around the corner to get some lighter fluid for my Zippo. The shopkeeper was pleasant enough and understood my needs but said the lighter fluid was of poor quality and refused to sell me any even though there were plenty of cans on the shelf. OK, I asked him if he had an inexpensive butane lighter and he sold me this with a refill can.

Butane Lighter

I recognized this as a crack pipe lighter but I was entranced by the bright blue flame and it was refillable so I bought it for 5 Dirhams and a can of butane for 10, not a bad deal. The trademark "KKK" may have some problems in North America though if this lighter was ever marketed there.

This small smoke shop was also packed to the rafters with shisha pipes, charcoal and tobacco. For those that are not familiar with shisha, it is a very civilized Arabic social custom where folks sit around and puff fruit flavored tobacco through the pipe which is also known as a hookah. The tobacco is packed in a chamber and is kept lit by charcoal. The smoke goes through water and is cooled and mellowed by the pipe which results in a mild, flavorful smoke. The tobacco flavor runs the gamut from grapes to mint to watermelon.

Shisha Pipe

I always entertained the idea of having my own shisha pipe in the house because it is such an enjoyable activity and it would be cool. Here I was in a smoke shop with the supposed proprietor and I asked him his advice about purchasing one from him. Amazingly, he told me to get one from Bani Yas, a town 20KM from my current location. I was dumbfounded! Here I was surrounded by these things and he refused to sell me one. I couldn't have swung a dead cat without hitting a shisha pipe in the small shop. I was stunned, I got in my car and started for home and still couldn't figure out why the guy didn't want my money. Maybe it was a racial thing, but it seemed quite cordial.

I never did get my business cards but I did get the cool crack pipe lighter. Maybe next time!

Holidays in Abu Dhabi

2010-12-07T08:57:00.000+04:00

The time is here again for the most popular holidays celebrated by many expatriots living in Abu Dhabi, Christmas and New Year’s Eve. I could count Thanksgiving but that was last month and is rarely celebrated outside of North America, even the USA and Canada observe it on separate days. There is not a single turkey within 6000 miles of this place anyway. Thanksgiving is a non-starter here.

I kind of enjoy Christmas in Abu Dhabi. Back home the commercial interests start late in October and are relentless in cajoling folks to start purchasing gifts for the Big Day. The malls and traffic get progressively more congested as time gets closer to December 25th. As a guy, I typically hate shopping and wait to the last week to do my gift purchases. By then the malls resemble the floor of the New York Stock Exchange. Tension is high and tempers flare during these last minute retail outings. Not my idea of fun.

In Abu Dhabi things are so much more subdued and the shopping pressure is off. Sure I miss my friends, family and the parties. Sitting in front of a roaring fireplace, the house decorated with twinkly lights and the smell of a freshly cut and decorated Christmas tree lighting up the room can’t be beat. Exchanging gifts with loved ones (especially the children) is always fun! It’s the commercialism that bothers me back home and I don’t have to experience that here if I choose not to. I'd rather not.

Christmas Tree at my Old House

My Last Christmas in Utah, USA, 2007

I will have to admit the perfect springtime weather in December here is not real conducive to a strong “Holiday Spirit” for me. I have always associated Christmastime with cold, snow and nasty weather. Not many fireplaces, hot toddies or fir trees here for that matter. Although the malls in Abu Dhabi try, I miss the outside street decorations and lights in front of businesses and residences.

Zion National Park, Utah, USA

Zion National Park

This will mark my third season away and while there a lot of things I miss, I still remember to count my blessings and make the best out of things. Its not so bad here this time of year.

New Year’s Eve is another story! I call it “Amateur Night” and try to stay off the road as some drivers who may not have drank all year do on that night and don't know their limits. It may be better here but I don’t take chances. Anyone know of a good fireworks show?

On a related note, it does strike me as more than coincidental that a lot of religions and cultures have holidays/rituals corresponding more or less to the two equinoxes and two solstices (both extreme positions of the sun) that occur each calendar year. Ancient peoples built Stonehenge and other elaborate archeological wonders found all over the world to measure these solar events. It must have been as important to them as it still seems to us. That is a topic for another post.

Happy Holidays, y'all!

Banking Woes

2010-11-26T11:38:00.000+04:00

I deposited a check the other day in my local bank and they said it would take A MONTH to clear! This was a check from a big company from a major US bank and there shouldn't be a problem. It was for only $400. Geez, I can transfer money in minutes all around the world and this bank (NBAD) insists on holding my money for a full 30 days!!! I have to throw the bullshit card.

They just want to hold my money to get interest from it. The check will clear in a few days but I cannot have access to my money for a month. Its pure theft and things only work the bank's way. What if I told them my car payment was going to be 30 days late, I don't think they would be very understanding.

Banks are nothing but thieves and I suggest all to keep their money under the mattress rather than enrich these bastards. Charging interest is not according to Islamic law but that fact is conveniently forgotten.

OK. I vented and feel better now.

Thailand Part 2

2010-11-23T11:42:00.001+04:00

So as fascinating as Bangkok was, my friend and his family left for Abu Dhabi and I had itchy feet so I decided to go to Koh Chang, an island in the Gulf of Thailand six hours bus trip south of Bangkok. I eventually got to Trat, the nearest city to the island but the ferries had stopped running so I spent the night there and arranged transport to Koh Chang island the next morning.

After a 30 minute ride through the Thai countryside, we arrived at the ferry terminal. Automobiles on the bottom and people on the top deck of the rusty ship. It was chilly on board but a snack shop had beers so I survived without too much discomfort.

The voyage to the island took about an hour. The weather was hazy and the island revealed itself after about half way there as huge mountains jutting out of the gulf.

KOH CHANG ISLAND

ON THE FERRY

I arrived at the small port and waited for the pickup truck to take me to the other side of the island where my hotel was. The trucks have a canvas covering over the bed and the riders sit on makeshift bench seats in the bed aligned longitudinally. I arrived at my hotel and checked in to a very nice room. Thailand is inexpensive and a typical room costs USD$30/ night, breakfast included.

7/11s are everywhere

The next day I hired a guide to show me the island. We drove on the hilly roller-coaster roads to the southern most point of the island called Bang Bao where there was an overwater marketplace. I had a great meal (but the scallop appetizer gave me a rash, I think) and enjoyed the sunset with a couple of beers.

THERE SEEMED TO BE AT LEAST ONE MISHAP IN THE HARBOR

On the way we stopped by an elephant place. I declined a ride on the pachyderms but decided to feed them instead. These guys can eat an entire pineapple whole. Seems that would be rough going down the throat but they didn't seem to care. On one occasion, I almost got a "trunk job"!

FRIENDLY ELEPHANT

I loved the elephants and spent a lot of time there. I felt a connection with them.

There were monkeys too.

The weather could have been better. There was a high overcast and it was very windy. Otherwise, I did enjoy myself on the island. Four days there then back to Bangkok and then to Abu Dhabi.

Thailand...Part 1

2010-11-22T10:56:00.001+04:00

I just spent the last few weeks in Thailand. Its a wonderful place but you have to keep your hands on your wallet, The money flows freely there and everyone is after it.

I got a nice business class seat and slept most of the way of the 6 hour flight after a steak sandwich and other goodies. The plane had this cool forward camera.

LEAVING ABU DHABI

A friend of mine was already there and had a room for me. I landed at the airport and got a cab to the hotel and checked into a very nice room at the Grand Business Inn in central Bangkok. This was disturbing in the bathroom though, I had to brush my teeth in the bedroom for fear of bodily harm. This sign was on the bathroom sink.

WTF!!!!!

Anyway, it was a nice room despite the dangerous cabinet. I survived without injury. I had to take a peek and found nothing but some electrical connections way back in the corner of the cabinet. Hardly a fatal situation.

Later, I went to a Buddist temple on the river in Bangkok. I took the very efficient BTS (Bangkok Transit System) overhead train to a dock where I boarded a boat to another dock where I boarded another boat to the temple. The river was very high due to the recent monsoons.

THE BTS

MORE BTS

RIVER BOAT TO TEMPLE

ON THE RIVER

LOCAL BOAT

After awhile, I got to the temple. It was an amazing example of art and architecture. The sculpture was incredible and a real treat to these Western eyes.

While there I got blessed by a Buddist monk. He was an old man adorned in the typical orange cloths and he said a prayer, sprinkled water from a brush over me and gave me a wrist band for good luck. After that my debit card wouldn't work and things just seemed to go wrong. I cut the wrist band off and things got better. Maybe I got a curse, bad Karma?

OUCH!!!

BOOZE CRUISE BANGKOK

Bangkok is an incredible place. Things I enjoyed was the food and the great smells of the city from the street vendors cooking food.The Thais really know how to eat. Everyone seemed happy.

Next....my trip to Koh Chang, an island off the coast of mainland Thailand

Amazing Lightning Photo

2010-10-22T11:39:00.000+04:00

A friend of mine, Sam Unterman, shot this photo of a massive thunderstorm in St. George, Utah, USA. The timing was incredible!

St, George Lightning Strike

This town is located in the Northeastern Mojave desert and many of these storms are rainless. The lightning is dangerous as it strikes dry brush on the nearby mountains and wildfires occur as a result.

I just had to share this dramatic photo. You won't see another like it.

Adrien Brody Encounter

2010-10-18T13:20:00.000+04:00

I went to a Q&A session the other day featuring the Oscar winning actor (The Pianist) Adrien Brody. He was promoting his new movie Wrecked which will premier at the fourth annual Abu Dhabi Film Festival. Wrecked tells the story of a man who crashes his car into a ravine and faces incredible odds to survive. The film was made in Vancouver, British Columbia.

Brody, the son of Hungarian-born photographer Sylvia Plachy and history professor Elliot Brody, grew up in Queens, New York and credits his mother (who was in attendance) for his ease in front of the camera. He accompanied her on many assignments for the "Village Voice". He expressed his continuing interest in independent film and relief that his hard work and fame allows him to bypass the usual auditions. He is glad to finally have the luxury of choosing the scripts he is interested in.

The Abu Dhabi Theater

Adrien Brody was very relaxed and forthcoming during the 90 minute session. His eyes glazed over when a question was asked in Arabic but a set of headphones were quickly supplied for the translation. He was joined on stage with the principals of the movie.

Adrian Brody

Arabic to English Translation

Doesn't Anyone Wear Socks Anymore?

The Screenwriter

Centro Hotel Pool Party-Immaculate Touch-Yas Island

2010-10-17T14:10:00.001+04:00

The oppressive temperatures have moderated and folks are starting to come out of their caves. So I decided to enjoy the weather and attend a pool party at the nearby Yas Island. The Moonbase where I live is a long taxi ride to downtown where most things happen and I was encouraged that there was something of entertainment value occurring in the neighborhood. Plus admission was free for my ilk!

I arrived there early and the crowds were scarce but the pace soon picked up. The weather was perfect as well as the surroundings at the Centro Hotel. The DJ's played a good mix of music and there was a guy cooking barbeque.

As one who likes to chronicle the weird and wonderful, I posted some pictures of the event.

It Wasn't a Church Event

Party Starting to Get Rolling

I Don't Know What the Story is Here

Some Coworkers Showed up

In All my Days, I Have Never Gazed Upon This

What a Great Idea! Women on Stilts!

I Feel Blessed, an Angel's Smile!

The "Bad" Angel

All in all, I had a good time. The beer, food, venue and scenery made for a relaxing afternoon. Regrettably, it was kind of a "Sausage Fest" as the lopsided ratio of available females/males here rivals that of Alaska, but one learns to deal with it. Right place at the right time with the right words are key, failing that, there is always Thailand.

That being said, there was no shortage of eye candy!

Oops, Camera Misfire...Sorry

So I cabbed it home for an early night after the early afternoon start. Don't drink and drive. I honestly can't justify owning a car here anymore.

Abu Dhabi Film Festival

2010-10-16T09:31:00.001+04:00

I had the fortune the other night to attend the opening night of the fourth annual Abu Dhabi Film Festival. I cabbed it from the moonbase to the very tony Emirates Palace hotel where the event was held and checked in at the press room in the Island Lounge.

Shiny New Building Downtown

Interior of the Emirates Palace

A Well Heeled Nautical Guest Moored Nearby

Atrium of the Emirates Palace

Press Room, Island Lounge

I retrieved my badge and hung out drinking expressos until the ceremonies began. I earlier applied for access to the Red Carpet area where the celebrities parade before the various media types but invitations to this event are rare. I thought I would wait until the names of the chosen were called and expected to go back home empty handed. Imagine my surprise when the coordinator pictured above called out my name. I was in!

The chosen were quickly rushed down two floors into the bowels of the hotel past a gauntlet of cordial security personnel to the Red Carpet press area. It resembled a piranha feeding frenzy as all the media types vied for the best vantage points. I chose a raised stage against the back wall which gave me a good view.

Red Carpet Press Area

The room was very hot and crowded but everyone was having a good time. The folks standing on both sides of me were very friendly and I felt like I made some good new buddies. I had a scare right before the ceremony as my trusty Canon camera started to act weird. All it would do was make a sickening beep when I tried to take a photo. Panicked, I changed batteries and memory card to no avail. I finally selected "restore factory settings" and that fixed it. I still don't know what happened.

The celebrities paraded before us stopping every 10 meters or so for photo opportunities. I have to admit that I didn't know the identity of most of the people I was photographing and will have to do some post event research.

Girl Talk....Slackistan's Shahana Khalil and Aisha Akhtar

Oscar Winning Actor Adrien Brody

British Actor Clive Owen

Unknown But Nice Dress...Help Me

Don't know Him Either

Or Her....

Or Them

Some Guy With His Mom

Maybe I am out of touch with the entertainment industry but I really feel ignorant that I don't recognize some of these people. I think that I should. Like I said, I will have to do some research.

After the event, I went to the lobby lounge to have some post-ceremony beers. At the bar, I met a motivational speaker from America and a hydrological engineer that is helping to restore the UAE's water aquifer. We all had a good chat and some laughs. I then cabbed it back to the Moonbase. Don't drink and drive!

It was a very fun night for me. I got outside my envelope and flat and really enjoyed it. Quite a big do for this redneck from the Florida panhandle but I clean up pretty well when I have to. Look for more ADFF updates here as I plan to attend press conferences with Uma Thurman, Adrien Brody and Juliette Moore in the following days.

Helicopters Rule!

2010-10-09T20:03:00.002+04:00

Rotor wash can be embarrassing!

Besides the obvious distraction, I am impressed how precisely the helo is positioned on the "H".

I don't think I have EVER seen better legs!

Repatriation Realities

2010-10-08T12:13:00.000+04:00

Humans are very versatile and flexible creatures, these facts explain how ancient cultures in such diverse areas as the Arctic and our own Arabian desert thrived. In the last few years I have lived and worked Abu Dhabi, I did some adapting of my own to this country and culture. Now I hardly notice the everyday things that would have shocked, irritated, or even thrilled me when I was a rookie.

All of this made me realize that when the time comes for my return to the star spangled arms of my Uncle Sam, I will have some reverse-adapting to do. Some things in the U.S. will seem foreign to me upon my repatriation so I compiled a 10 most potentially disruptive personal issues list:

1. I will have to force myself to actually take speed limit and stop signs seriously again

2. Required to get reacquainted with “The Taxman” and pay my legal burden (ugh!)

3. Metric versus Imperial measures, always a struggle for me, back to miles, yards, feet and inches

4. Possibility of getting arrested because my shisha pipe is assumed to be "drug paraphernalia"

5. The eerie sense of an important bathroom fixture gone missing, my toilet looks lonely

6. My terror of drinking tap water must be conquered or I will be considered a wimp

7. Surprised at all the old, dented and cheap cars on the road back home

8. Trying to regain comprehension of that “funny-sounding” American accent

9. My sweat glands are stuck wide open after years in the U.A.E. heat and humidity, I now shiver at 27 C

10 "Middle Finger” rights are restored for use in disputes, but better not as the opponent may have a gun

Some things will feel the same, KFC for example, but the longer I am in Abu Dhabi the further I drift from my original culture. That is not a bad thing as adaptation makes me more comfortable here as time goes by and when I do return home, it will seem as exotic and new as when I first set foot on these shores.

Resist Being Ordinary

2010-09-30T11:03:00.000+04:00

This is sad in a certain way.

Gimpy in Abu Dhabi

2010-09-24T18:02:00.001+04:00

A couple of weeks ago my left ankle swelled up and became extremely painful, I could hardly walk. I was shuffling around like Quasimodo so I decided I needed to see a doctor. This was no easy decision for me as I am extremely adverse to strangers poking, prodding, demanding bodily fluids and sticking painful needles into my person. I usually would prefer a severe beating than a visit to a medical clinic.

Fortunately, my employer maintains a clinic on premises so I shuffled in hoping for a quick resolution to my problem. A quick exam and a prescription of strong pain pills was my goal. That was not to be.

The initial screening consisted of a blood pressure test. I failed miserably at this and attention quickly turned to my hypertension and the painful ankle I originally came in for took a back seat. This scared me as I could see the concerned looks on the faces of the medical technicians and the doctor.

A bit of background. I have what is called "White Coat Syndrome" where anxiety is experienced in a clinical atmosphere. My pulse rate and blood pressure go way up just by entering a hospital or clinic. It is like a fear of heights, a phobia. It reaches a pinnacle when they wrap the pneumatic cuff around my upper arm for the BP test and they pump it up. Since I was in my 20's I have always showed elevated pulse and blood pressure rates in this situation.

So with this in mind, the doctor forbade me to work for the next four days (Yay!) and sent me to an emergency room downtown where I was to get some blood tests and x-rays done. Since it was a holiday, no specialists were available to interpret the results.

My foot still hurts.

The next day I had to go to an orthopedic specialist all the way downtown. I have a manual transmission car and grimaced in pain every time I had to use the clutch pedal. The doc diagnosed my condition as gout, a buildup of sharp crystals in a joint caused by consuming too much red meat, beer and seafood. All my favorite things. He prescribed some pills but told me to only take them after the pain and swelling subsided (WTF!) and to quit consuming my favorite things.

My foot still hurts.

The next day I had to see a cardiologist about my blood pressure. Another painful drive downtown. I had an EKG done and when wired up thought I could end up on the operation table in 24 hours with my chest cracked open for open heart surgery if they found anything amiss. I was sent off wearing a machine that checked my blood pressure every 30 minutes for 24 hours. that was fun, especially when trying to sleep.

My foot still hurts.

The next day I had to take yet another painful drive back to the cardiologist for the results. Turns out that my BP is slightly elevated but can be controlled and lowered by exercise. I must also give up caffeine, alcohol, salt, meat, soft drinks and other favorite things. I quit listening after the first few. I refuse to live like a monk. Quality vs quantity is how I live.

My foot still hurts.

After days of running around I found out I was actually quite healthy. None of the tests revealed a serious problem. Every medical professional I dealt with seemed competent and cordial. I never had to wait for hours (like in the US) to see the doctor and I was treated quite well. As far as costs, I was only charged a copay of 50 Dirhams ($14 USD) and the prescriptions were totally free. They even let me keep my x-rays!

But my damn foot still hurts! It's getting better though.

Abu Dhabi Tempo Magazine

2010-09-14T17:25:00.000+04:00

Whether you live near or far, keep up on the local, inside Abu Dhabi haps with this twice-monthly publication. It is the first magazine in the region to use the new Mobile Tag technology. Use your smart-phone to scan the multicolor mosaic looking square and you will automatically be transported to the associated website for more relevant information. The Facebook fan page is here. Download the latest .pdf issue here . Look for the 'Download Tempo" place and click on "Latest Issue".

Because I despise self-promotion in any form, I am not going to tell you that I write two columns a month for this fine publication (I challenge you to guess which one) and will be covering the Abu Dhabi Film Festival next month. My lips are sealed!

I personally know the editorial staff and they are hell-bent on making Abu Dhabi Tempo Magazine the highest quality source of information in town for visitors and residents alike. They will be celebrating their first anniversary next month. They have every reason to, the growth has been amazing and is destined to continue unabated. I am proud to be a part of Abu Dhabi Tempo's success.